Cell Meanings

So, Kevin’s cell has ‘HOHO’ or ‘GOGO’ in it…but what about mine…

Mine is TOG-BABO

Yeah, ok that makes no sense. I’ll shutup.

To the Bat Cave?

I giggled at this sign in Black Mountain, NC:

Maryland, My Maryland

I am back from my tour of redneck country. Somebody tell me what I missed. I think a couple of planes went down in Russia. Dang.

Live from Black Moutain, NC

I found a cyber cafe in a mountain town! It is called the Dipilator, $5 for an hour. Well, later.

I may send Kevin more annoying text messages…

Fun with Bots II

I got bored and decided to mess with the SmarterChild bot…

wittybastad (10:03:36 PM): do you masturbate?
SmarterChild (10:03:37 PM): That’s something that humans do, not computers…
wittybastad (10:03:45 PM): why do humans masturbate?
SmarterChild (10:03:45 PM): Hmm… You know, I’m not quite sure anymore.

I’ll leave it at that.

Nevermind

No guest bloggers. I am leaving tomorrow and I will be gone like all next week. I need to get out of Maryland. So, just enjoy the posts that are currently up, or think of new ways to use a stale blog, just like these ways to use flat sodas.

Old people & Electronics!

My mom can’t work her own cell phone. Old people make me laugh.

I finally got around to it.

I made a picture of my car for you.
More…

Flip flopping Dick!

Give the vice president a few minutes, and he’ll flip a flop.

First, the war isn’t sensitive and that it shouldn’t be, then it is sensitive and that is should be.

Which is it, Dickie?

Report Suspicious Activity!

Driving around DC & Baltimore, I-95, 495, 695, and even out on I-70 towards Frederick, I keep seeing electrical signs over the road that tell me to “Report Suspicious Activity”, as if I’m supposed to notice something along the road…well I guess I would be able to notice a flat-bed truck loaded with Saudis Iraqis, armed with AK-47s, but it all seems a little odd to me. Report supicious activity, huh? People should be concentrated on driving, but whatever.

So shoot me

I know, I’ve been lazy about getting the pics of the new car…but I will post some eventually. I’m lazy.

Open Water

This is a pretty simple movie. A couple goes on vacation to some carribean island, goes scuba diving, and get’s left behind, many miles from land, in shark and jellyfish infested waters. It’s a low budget movie, that was shot on video and there’s not many actors. So in that sense, it’s kinda like BLAIR WITCH meets JAWS. Instead of getting lost in the woods and dropping the map, they’re lost in the open ocean and they dropped their knife. It’s not overly graphic, but it is very suspensful. This needs to be seen on the big screen.

Call Hollywood

I just got a totally random idea for a movie: A guy has to blog every hour, on the hour, or else….*drumrole* A BOMB WILL EXPLODE!!!!1

It’s never been done, not even on a bus, or by Keanu Reeves! TOTALLY ORIGINAL!

The Banal Adventures of Katie

I think somebody is off her meds…

I’m not Rick James anymore, bitch!

Rick James passed away.

Rest in peace.

The Truth Comes Out

In a speech at the signing ceremony for the $417 billion defense spending bill, Bush let his real intentions known.

“They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” More…

To watch the video, head over to Oliver’s.

Fighting lies with lies

Very interesting tactic. Smoking stunts penis growth!

Corny Bush Captions

via Oliver

“Look, it’s a banana”

Fat people convention

Let me be frank, this is the stupidest fucking convention.

“We’re living in the middle of a witch hunt and fat people are the witches,” said Marilyn Wann of San Francisco, a militant member of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA). “It’s gotten markedly worse in the last few years because of the propaganda that fatness, a natural human characteristic, is somehow a form of disease.” More…

Ok, first off. What the fuck is with the name of the association? Advancing fat acceptance? WHY DO WE WANT TO ACCEPT FATNESS?

Secondly, since when is being fat, “a natural human characteristic”? It is a form of disease. Overweight and obese people are more prone to heart disease and diabetes. THIS IS A PROVEN FACT.

The national association to advance fat acceptance has the same credibility as the national assocation to advance dope acceptance.

Please, stop the stupidity.

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

OMFG, this is one of the funniest movies of the year. It’s about two guys in their early 20s who insist on getting some burgers at White Castle one night. One thing leads to another, and another, and another, and they eventually get their burgers, but they have to put up with a lot of shit to get them. It’s so touching.

Okay, no it isn’t, it’s pretty vulgar (is that an oxy moron?) but I won’t say anything more, you’ll have to see it, except the following three words:

Neil Patrick Harris.