EST begins tonight at 2am

If you don’t participate, you’re not cool…and mildly retarded.

Very funny guys…

Somebody just got me to chat with a bot without knowing. Very funny.

Gas powered

Okay, so I go to the bathroom to take a shit. I know, eww. But here me out. The lights are little dimmed, because one is out. Not a big deal. Then I really let one rip. I know, eww. But here me out. As soon as I let one rip (again, here me out), the light which was out, lights back up, and giving the bathroom it’s normal amount of lumination. Coincidence, or powerful farts?

You can’t make this up.

Look ma, I’m quoting a terrorist

“We agreed with Mohamed Atta, god bless him, to execute the whole operation in 20 minutes. Before Bush and his administration would pay attention and we never thought that the high commander of the US armies would leave 50 thousand of his citizens in both towers to face the horrors by themselves when they most needed him because it seemed to distract his attention from listening to the girl telling him about her goat butting was more important than paying attention to airplanes butting the towers which gave us three times the time to execute the operation thank god.” –Osama bin Laden More…

goat butting? did he just say goat butting?

A better transcript is here. Drudge sucks.

O’Reilly Tapes: Recreated

If you haven’t been paying attention, professional Blowhard Bill O’Reilly is being sued by one of the producers of Fox News. Here is what happened.

Yes, he really did say “falafel”.

“One Fingered Victory Salute”

Bush flips the camera the bird.

MOON TOTALITY!

Hurry, get outside, stop reading my fucking blog, and look up at the sky. The moon will begin to enter the total eclipse phase at 10:23PM EDT, so time is of the essence- unless you are not on the east coast, if that is the case, check your local listings.

So much for that

Well, Yahoo! has finally done it. They’ve destroyed their original look.

15 years and counting

Not counting the rest of this year, we have 15 until Matt Cooper, a twenty-one year old political science student at the University of California at Davis. I like your politics, Matt, so good luck, and pray you don’t have change of heart (or “flip floppery” as some would call it) in the meantime before 2020.

The year 2020 is gonna suck, we’re gonna have to put up with stupid 20/20 and Barbara Walters jokes all year…

Surviving Christmas

Hey kids, it’s a Ben Affleck movie that is actually funny, and Ben Affleck is actually funny. I was expecting to make fun of Affleck the whole time, but he was so hilarious in this. He hasn’t been this funny since Mallrats, it appears all the Gigli jokes/insults have penetrated his brain. Oh, penetrated. Never thought I would use that word in talking about Ben Affleck. o.O

Seriously, I LMAO’d a lot during this movie. I didn’t quite ROTF a lot, but only because that would have disturbed the other 4 people in the theater. I guess it was late or something and nobody goes to the movies on a Sunday night in Owings Mills. It was great, especially great seeing Tony Soprano whack somebody with a shovel!

CHECK THIS MOVIE OUT, FOOL.

The Grudge

It’s now a trend to take a Japanese horror film and Americanize it. Before “The Ring”, there was “Ringu”, and before “The Grudge”, there was Gringo, ok just kidding, the was Ju on: The Grudge…not much of a title change there…

This movie could have easily been only 30 minutes, because it’s just too drawn out. The scary sequences are great and all, but after 30 minutes of them, you just ask, WHAT ELSE? There is nothing else to this movie. Even the backstory of the house is under developed. It’s like one person saw the Japanese version and then told other people to make it, without actually telling those people to watch it. It’s forced. Forced and underdeveloped.

Should you see this? If you want to. I wouldn’t pay over 8 bucks for it, so try to catch the matinee.

OMG IT’S TWUE IT’S TWUE

“America: the Book” really does have nudie photos of ALL the supreme court justices…I’m gonna go scratch my retinas.

Barely escaped!

I was driving on a road not too far from my house and a cop is going the other way…I inadvertantly breaked (sorry, force of habit when I see a cop) because I was 5-10 over….well, after we passed, the cop turned around and was behind me…but like 30 feet behind me, but it was clear the cop turned around because of me…Then I go around a curve and I no longer see the cop. I speed up to get to my street and far enough down so I can’t be seen. And it worked. Fucker drove right on by. Probably saying “WHICH WAY DID HE GO?!?! FUCK!”…hahaha it’s not a shutout no more fellas!

Cops: 3
Bozzy: 1

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Some people have too much fucking money…

Man milk or moo milk?

Yes, if you have not heard, I have gone gross today. And this means you have to take a quiz to see you if you can tell the difference between cum and milk. DO IT NOW

Who knows what tomorrow brings…

I got 11/16. Damn.

Kill the popups

Ah, the joys of being a Mac user, not having to worry about popup ads or blue deathly screens…

Gash or Tash?

Okay, this one is from the same guy who did female or shemale…can you pick out the pubes from the facial hair?

That’s right, Bozzy’s gone gross today. And he got 13/16. I think there’s a joke here…

Female or Shemale?

How well are you at spotting a fake? Take the quiz…

I scored a 12/16

Fuck fall

Fall is here and all I have to say is; fuck fall. Fall? I hate the fall. What bullshit. Oh the leaves change color. They change color for two days; then a big wind comes and you got nothing but sticks for the rest of the year. You never have a proper fall coat, nothing you wear is right. You wake up it’s sunny out, you put a coat on. You go out you’re sweating like a pig, you take it off then it’s cold… it’s bullshit. - Lewis Black, The White Album.

I just experienced that. I put on a sweatshirt, and of course I now understand why it’s called a SWEATSHIRT, then I put on a lighter shirt, and I’m cold. Fuck fall, indeed.

It makes me look like a hypocrit? Shit!

Better cancel the book tour! And somebody de-blotch me, I have a hot date tonight.