31
Jan 05
Last night started innocently enough, I left Columbia to go to Reisterstown to pick up Lily because we had plans to see Vyral at Thunderdome.
But I forgot to get directions before leaving the house. So we had to make a quick stop at Lily’s to get directions, plus she needed to change out of her work clothes. Only, her friend Liz locked the bottom lock to the apartment and her boyfriend never gave her a key to that lock, so she called him and pleaded with him to come over, as we had to get to Baltimore by 8pm, and it was already 7.
Fifteen minutes later. We’re on our way to her boyfriend’s friend’s apartment where he’s at so we can get the key. We get the key, head back to the other apartment. We don’t start on our way to Baltimore til about 7:40 or so.
The directions to Thunderdome were fucked up too. We wound up going the wrong way on 895 (on the right side, not that wrong way, silly) and because of this we had to go through the Harbor tunnel TWICE. Luckily I have an EZPass, but still, very annoying.
We got to thunderdome at 8:15, to find that it was…da da da…wait for it…wait for it….canceled. Due to snow that stopped HOURS ago. We hung around talking to people til 9, then decided to go to Sonar where we stayed til 2am, and then I drove Lily home, then went home myself. Fun times. Even if you do hit a few snags along the way.
And BTW, I was dancing last night at Sonar. And no, there is no video of it, for if there were, I’d have to kill the cameraman and destroy the tape.
29
Jan 05
They get mauled by tigers. Name me one, just one profession in which you can get mauled by a tiger, and don’t even mention Sigfried and Roy!
Don’t feel sorry for the stripper (I know sympathy towards strippers, what a concept), she got some fat cash.
29
Jan 05
Jenna Jameson now offers her moans and grunts for your cell phone for only $2.50.
That’s just wrong. I have trouble explaining how my phone sings my name in a seductive manner (on Sprint, you can download a song that sings your name, they have all names, unless yours is Nimbanoson, then you may run into trouble) or the reason why I have the fraggle rock theme song in my phone.
Anyway, can just imagine the looks you’ll get if your phone ring is a pornstar’s moans and grunts? That’s just too real.
29
Jan 05
Canadian judge says it’s okay to masturbate in front of an open window!
Now, who would do that anyway, I don’t know, but if you are a window masturbator, that’s masturbating in front of an open window not jerking off glass, then you should be happy. But you can only be happy if you’re Canadian. Sorry, that’s the rules.
28
Jan 05
Michele says to write a post about oral sex if you want some interesting email (and referrals from google), so here goes…
ORAL SEX.
*echo*
You should always practice safe oral sex, or your dentist will get really mad and you never want to go to a mad dentist!
and look at this, there’s actually an art to giving a blowjob, receiving a hummer, having oral sex.
Hell, oral sex is great, everybody’s doin it, even British school children, because they think kids will just suck each other off instead of having full intercourse… ha.
And now, the final oral sex link.
25
Jan 05
You gotta watch the video for their hit “They’re Everywhere!” It totally rocks.
25
Jan 05
I know, I’ve been lazy about posting a “best of” list of films for 2004 like I have done every other year of this blog (2), but this past year, I saw mostly craptastic films, with a few exceptions. SIDEWAYS, for starters. That movie is so hysterical. Thomas Haden Church (yes that dude from Wings and Ned & Stacy) is up for best supporting actor for his role in that. He should win it and his career should be back on track!
So, in a prequel to my best of list, I will list the movies I still need to see:
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
THE AVIATOR
COLLATERAL
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
KINSEY
THE POLAR EXPRESS
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
SUPER SIZE ME
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS
RAY
That’s about it, there are other movies up for Oscars that I haven’t seen, but I don’t really have a desire to see them.
More…
24
Jan 05
Going to Fletcher’s tonight to see Victory Twin. I’ll be sure to bring my camera, but I probably won’t upload anything, so don’t hold your breath… but you never know. Maybe I’ll see a midget and take a pic….or maybe I’ll see a drug addict on the way there and stop to make fun of him or her, bumfights style.
23
Jan 05
WHFS is now back on Baltimore’s 105.7, but there’s a catch. While Howard Stern and the Don & Mike show will still air in the mornings and afternoons, Ron & Fez has been dropped (but it is still on WJFK), as 105.7 will now play WHFS’s alternative rock playlist evenings, overnights, and weekends. WHFS is also available as internet radio as part of American Online’s Radio@AOL service. But it’s not currently working for Mac users. WTF, AOL?
I really don’t care, the real WHFS moved to 103.1 WRNR when Infinity bought the station, what just moved to 105.7 is just a Top-40 station, but they did bring back Tim Virgin.
And for those who don’t know, The Sports Junkies is now on WJFK.
22
Jan 05
This guy is looking for a hooker to move in with him. This is the grown-up version of this.
21
Jan 05
It’s not too late for a little reflection, it’s only 21 days into 2005. Here’s the summary of the past 12 months…
January: Britney Spears gets married, then annulled. I bought 4lbs of banana runts. Ecstatic for the rest of the year when I find out Joe Gibbs came back to coaching the Redskins. Dean screams…TO BE ABLE TO BE HEARD OVER THE LOUD ASS CROWD.
Febuary: Janet’s titty says hello.I tried to find a new job. Failed. Mel Gibson creates a stir.
March: Kerry takes the democratic nomination. Civilization as we know it ends, I get jury duty.
April: I got free pretzels. Kill Bill vol2 hits theaters. I see it three times.
May: I don’t post much because of Jenna May. I know, that means nothing to you. Next month.
June: I find out Jenna is on heroin. Ronald Reagan dies, OJ goes on TV to say “it wasn’t me”. Julia and I meet ‘freedomtickler’ from the forums at Fletcher’s.
July: Marlon Brando dies. I get drunk off my ass. Those two are not related. I get a flat tire. I want to go to Otakon, but don’t.
August: NEW CAR! Vacation. Update Movable Type. It was a slow month.
September: Mac Culkin gets arrested for doin Mary Jane. Conan set to replace leno in 2009. I see movies.
October: What about Poland? I shocked the world; bought a PC. Jon Stewart pwns Tucker Carlson. Redsox win the series. Jenna got out of jail.
November: Fuck Bush. Dental implants procedure (started in 2003) completed.
December: Possible cure for HIV is found. I almost crash on route 40 in the snow, because of stupid driver.
There, if you want more detail read the monthly archives.
21
Jan 05
I’m going to start spending $2 bills. Instead of withdrawing $20 at the ATM, I’m gonna go in the bank and get 10 $2 bills…i cannot wait to see how people react. It’s gonna be great!
YOU ALL DO IT TOO.
TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE THE TWO DOLLAR BILLS POPULAR!!!
19
Jan 05
This story comes from Texas. Wait, don’t go, this isn’t about cow tipping or deer hunting. The Texas school system wants to put a BMI on student’s report cards.
and almost as if on cue, I think of family guy:
Security Guard: Alright son, we’re gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don’t have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You’re not a shoplifter, you’re just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he’s just a fat kid! Aren’t you, fatty? You’re just a big ol’ fat kid. Here’s some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.
19
Jan 05
It’s snowing here, and you know what that means for Marylanders? Lots of crappy driving. Why is that when it snows all the idiots wake up from hibernation? People cannot drive. I saw people doing 60 in a 50 when you cannot see any asphalt! Fuckin dumbasses.
On a funny note, I did slide around abit and so did the 5-0 behind me, but we both have teh_skillz and drove out of it.
18
Jan 05
Damn that is tough. And hilarious.