Lindsay Lohan is a whore
Thursday, November 15th, 2007Check this shit out: She’s sentenced to a day for DRUNK DRIVING, not once, but TWICE… and if that’s not an insult enough, served only 84 minutes. Slut.
Check this shit out: She’s sentenced to a day for DRUNK DRIVING, not once, but TWICE… and if that’s not an insult enough, served only 84 minutes. Slut.

Using the word ‘drunk’ almost goes without saying… if it were just ‘Man Rides Horse Into Bank’, everybody would just be really confused. We can’t have that. He was drunk. Yes.
Kevin has returned to blogging.
So this guy is drunk and behaving in the normal drunken stupor and two New Orleans cops kick his ass… because, get this… he stumbled into a police horse! Oh the humanity of it all! He’s drunk. You don’t arrest him. You get him off the street by driving him home, if he won’t say where he lives, drop him off at a homeless shelter. That is, if you can find time in between your grand larceny joy rides.
But it’s easier to beat up the drunk old man.
Okay, so I had yet another amazing night this past Friday (6/17). So great in fact that I’ve been too fucking tired to tell you all about it til now. I think you’ve dealt with those realizations pretty well. Patience is a virtue, never forget that.
ACT ONE
Alright, so Friday at about 5:30 in the PM, I leave Columbia to go pick up Jenna in Pikesville. It usually takes about 25-30 minutes, it took 60. SIXTY FUCKING MINUTES. The reason? There was an accident on I-70 East. I must have been at a complete dead stop for 10 minutes at one point. Nothing was moving. Looking back it foreshadowed things to come quite nicely.
The traffic Gods AKA MD State Troopers finally cleared the cars to the side and traffic started moving, and I was able to speed on I-695 West to Liberty Road as traffic was moving mighty swiftly. I get on Liberty Road, make a right onto Washington Ave, then another right onto Millford Mill Road, and right before Reisterstown Road I get stuck behind an MTA bus. First it’s picking up passengers, then the light turns red. After a couple grueling minutes, I am finally at Jenna’s and she gets in the car and we head back to Randallstown to pick up Lily.
I told Lily I’d pick her up at 6:30, but it was 6:30 by the time I picked up Jenna, so we got to Lily’s at about 7 in the PM. We stop at Walgreens to get cigarettes and Mountain Dew, and then head over to Reisterstown to pick up Liz. Once the last of the musketeers are in the car, we head back to I-695 West to Bel Air Road to go to a bar called the Mojo Lounge, where some local bands were playing. I didn’t see much of the bands and I blame the bar. For they had a pool table upstairs. After about 40 minutes, we decided to leave to go to a pool (as in swimming) party in Lithicum, MD off of West Nursey Road. We leave Mojos and get back to the car, Liz has to pee. It’s one of those really bad pees, apparently, and she could not hold it in. So she just pops a squat right then and there next to the car and tries to wonder up an ingenius new kind of toilet paper… she fails. Luckily for her, Jenna offers up her t-shirt, a t-shirt she will now never wear again, as toilet tissue.
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