Mitt Romney defaces the american flag.
No, he didn’t burn it, but Mitt Romney did write his name on it.
To make matters worse for the Republicans, Mike Huckabee decided that he was gonna go all out and do a book signing for the Holy Bible! You can’t take credit for that, Mike!
Oliver Willis inspired this post, and I have to agree with him on the democrats with John Edwards winning the caucus and Barack Obama coming up behind with Hilary trailing afterwards.
However!
I see Mitt Romney winning for the republicans with Ron Paul a close second, followed by Giuliani and Huckabee in a dead heat for third.
While Ron Paul will not win in Iowa, he will boast a high standing, which should keep him relevant for the states which don’t go to the polls until March or later.
I would love to see Ron Paul win the nomination. If it comes to an Edwards vs Paul showdown, I wil be extremely torn. They both do stuff I love and they both do stuff I hate, so it’s just a matter of determining which of those things are important enough to get my vote.
Here are the democratic options:
Hillary Clinton– Yeah, because she wants to bang an intern too. Mostly for the attention though.
John Edwards– Somebody tell him you have to be more than a prettyboi.
John Kerry–If at first you can’t succeed… STAY IN THE SENATE, BITCH.
Al Gore–Same thing, except home.
Bill Richardson– He’s wants his 15 minute of fame like his wife Patricia had. (That was a Home Improvement reference, fuckers; embrace it)
Wes Clark– I’M A GENERAL!!!!!
Evan Bayh– No way, I’m tired of Joe Millionaire.
Here are the republican options:
Mitt Romney– Strike that, reverse it; He already fucked his chances.
Bill Frisk– If he becomes president, think of the interns he’ll want to frisk.
John McCain– Kinda old, but very possible, very cruel and unusual punishement possible.
Sam Brownback– Who? He’ll have to hire a marketing guru for his name.
Chuck Hagel– It rhymes with ‘bagel’, that disqualifies him.
Newt Gingrich– No.
Jeb! Bush– *Bozzy just had a heart attack at this thought*
Condoleeza Rice– If she runs, I’ll commit hara-kiri, but not before I do Halle Berry on Harry Caray’s grave.
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