Holiday Eating Tip #1

I know you love stuffing. Don't we all? But that does not give you any excuse to eat a whole can of Stoufer's. Do not do that, and I am speaking from experience. A few weeks ago, I was hungry, okay, so I get hungry every day, okay so I get hungry every hour, but a few weeks ago, in one of these bouts of hungerness, I could not find anything to eat, and the more time that elapsed, the more-- well you know, you get hungry too, don't lie. Anyway, there was nothing to eat. I was looking through the pantry and came across a can of Stoufer's, because, you know, nothing comes closer to home. The serving size was 6-8 people. Thing was, I was the only one there. While the voices in my head do contradict that previous statement, they cannot eat, so in all actuality, I was alone. So I ate that can of Stoufer's, all of it. All of it. If you ever wanted to see true agony, then eat too much bread, you'll get true agony. You have no idea how bloated I felt. I was literally stuffed!

So please, when Grandma asks you to pass the stuffing, give her the cranberries instead, because the only thing worse than a bloated Bozzy is a bloated grandma.

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216-416-0033-- What the fuck?

Somebody called my cell phone from the number 216-416-0033 (call it, you get static) and left a vulgar message. I did a search, and it happened to somebody else, same exact number. But unfortunately, that link doesn't help much. Any ideas? Update: 7/26/2005 Reader mail! i know this is random, but i am not a member of your blog, so i am sending you a myspace message. i googled the relay number that prank called me this evening, the same one you got a call from in april. that relay number is a number you can find online somewhere, and use your computer to make relay calls. usually you have to have a certain phone to use relay, but this company lets you do it through a computer, thus allowing non-deaf people to make relay calls to other non-deaf people. i found out that it was my boyfriend's little brother calling me, so chances are someone you know found the number and used their computer to call you. so its not some crazy person calling you. just thought i would let you know, th...