Showing posts from 2005


Happy new year everybody. It's late. I just got home. I'm tired.

Hey, what's in the fridge?

Jello?! Lunchables?! Sunny D?! ALRIGHT!!!!

Merry Christmas 2005!

What shiney new things did I receive this year? Hammer pants, hammer pants, and oh yeah, hammer pants. Ok seriously, I got stuff. Maybe you'll find out, maybe you won't. Okay. Btw, the Redskins won yesterday.

Dungy boy takes own life? news services Dec. 23 A medical examiner's preliminary report Friday confirmed that the 18-year-old son of Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy took his own life, although the cause of death will not be determined for four to six weeks. Dr. Jacqueline Lee released the findings and said there was no evidence of foul play. Lee ordered a toxicology study, and until it is finished the cause and manner of James Dungy's death are listed as pending. Do you want to know more? Dude, it was only 1 game, and the Colts already clinched home field advantage; don't make football games a matter of life and death. /condolences to the Dungy family

Brad Renfro arrested in Skid Row drug sting

Brad Renfro arrested and spends several hours in jail until released on a $10,000 bond. Apparently yacht thievery was not enough for Mr. Renfro, he wanted to up the anty with a CDS possession charge . Are we still giving out darwin awards for 2005 or do I have to wait for 2006?

Cowboys really suck

They are so Defenseless . 35-7. A 28 point victory. The Colts lost, but so what, Redskins are in 2nd place!

Someone stole a BABY JESUS!!!

A 70 year old woman in Arkansas stole a baby jesus! That's one badass grammy! Think this is just an Arkansas thing? It's in Virginia too . And South Africa . OHIO . Florida . Oregon . Tennessee . Texas . Alabama . England . Okay I'm tired of going through Google News, let's just say there is NO PLACE where a baby Jesus is safe! Muahahahahahaha!

7 Days Torn show this Saturday


William Ira Cargo - The Best Grandfather Ever!

RIP Feburary 27, 1917 - December 13, 2005 William Ira Cargo Grandpa, you died on a Tuesday. You were 88 years young. I miss you already. Holidays just will not be the same without you around. Rest in peace, Grandpa. If anybody wants to know more about him: Cargo, William Ira (b. 1917) — also known as William I. Cargo — of Florida. Born in Detroit, Wayne County, Mich., February 27, 1917. Served in the U.S. Navy during World War II; Foreign Service officer; U.S. Ambassador to Nepal, 1973-76 . Here is the paid death notice from the NY Times: CARGO-William Ira (Bill). Age 88, on Tuesday, December 13, 2005, of Columbia, MD. Beloved husband of Margaret ``Margot'' Grace Ludwig Cargo for more than 67 years, died at the Gilchrist Center for Hospice Care in Baltimore, MD, following a brief illness. He is survived by one son, David Paul Cargo; one daughter, Ruth Cargo and three grandchildren, all of Columbia, MD. Services will be held at Shaw Funeral Home, Lehman Chapel, 205 N. Elizab

MySpace Suicide

Yes, search the display names for " you BROKE my LIFE " and you will find this kid .

Chileans vote for first woman president

Ah, a possible a female President in Chili ...

Is this weird or an omen?

Earlier today the odometer read "44444" and the time of day was 4:44pm. Freaky.

Just a graphic for Monday

I hope it made you smile.

Bush gets jury duty.

There's no way I would make this up ...

The BK Lounge


Life Update #4309582345234h

Okay, I haven't posted much of anything. I've been busy. A) Painting B) Packing C) Cleaning D) Working E) Partying F) All of the Above. Sorry. You all can hit me in the kidney.

I haven't posted anything in days, so...

I took a Dane Cook quiz... DC Fanatic You scored 205 SuFi Points! You fuckin stalker *smirk*.. me too though.. You are awesome because you listen to the best known comedian on the face of this planet.. Doesn't he just make you wanna load an oozy with sugar bullets and shoot yourself in the tongue? He is sooo sweet and candy-ish.. ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT ;) My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender : You scored higher than 58% on SuFi Points Link: The Dane Cook Fanatic Test written by HotNanny23 on OkCupid Free Online Dating , home of the 32-Type Dating Test


#1 on Google for 'Hitler is a fag'!

Whoa, this is pretty sad.

CPL Sammy Boswell died in Iraq last month. No, he isn't related to me, but the article says he grew up in Fulton, MD and was 20 years old, which is near where my brother went to Elementary school for a year. The thing is, in that year he knew a Sam Boswell in the same grade as him. This is probably the same kid. How sad.

Bel Air Bash

For all you people in Baltimore, the BEL AIR BASH is this Saturday! Featuring the bands SKITZO CALYPSO, 7 DAYS TORN, LENNEX, HALFWAY BROKEN, ANUBIS, TEARS OF MARS, and OF BROKEN. When: Saturday Nov 19, 2005 at 5:00 PM Where: St Margarets Church 141 N hickory ave Bel Air, MD 21014 US See you there.

The meaning of a friend

A good friend is somebody who bails you out of jail, but a true friend is somebody who is sitting right next to you saying, "Damn, we fucked up."

Campbells soup from 1996

Yup, I just found a really old can of Campbells soup. Some vegetable soup, but it's from 1996. And no, it's not edible anymore, all the water evaporated.

7 Days Torn rocks

I was at Fletchers tonight to see 7 days torn , and they fucking rocked as usual. Fucking check them out. They are on myspace . Listen to their shit. Cock fuckity fuck fuck motherfuck. Had to throw in a bit more useless profanity. Btw, if Mykal is reading this, thanks for the lemon drop.

Zombie porn!

I know you've been waiting forever and ever for this breakthrough in the porn industry, but without further ado, I bring you... the RE-PENETRATOR !

Ehrlich losing big in the polls

Baltimore Mayor Martin O'Malley is leading Gov. Robert Ehrlich by 15% in the polls for Maryland's gubernatorial race . O'Malley's other competition, Montgomery County democrat Doug Duncan, is leading Ehrlich by 5%. O'Malley is leading Duncan by 19%. Maryland is not GOP friendly.

My site is something awful?

I've heard a certain someone submitted my site to something awful.... thanks. :) I could use the extra hits. Seriously though, I could care less. I wish more people would do that.

We Already Knew This

Hey! Did you know reading blogs is distracting to people on the job ?! Wow!

One rock, now three

Scientists have discovered two moons in Pluto's orbit . Neato.

I love dead cops.

[ Millions of dead cops ] Yeah that's right. Damn Howard County cops don't know how to direct traffic. Tell me why they let everybody else go through like 16 tiimes and they still hadn't let us go through. I bet they still haven't. I had to make a U-turn to get out of that traffic nightmare next to Long Reach High School. Stupid fucking cops should learn how to direct traffic. YOU LET EVERYBODY HAVE A TURN! You don't let one side keep backing up and backing up and backing up through traffic lights!

The Shaft

Last Saturday I flipped thru the channels and found this great movie! It's called " The Shaft "! You probably guessed it, it's about an elevator and an elevator shaft , but that's not just any ordinary elevator that moves up and down, this one kills people because it's POSSESSED by some EVIL force! A force we later find to be the doings of a MAD scientist. You have to be on some kind of drugs to come up with this shit. Honestly, it's about an ELEVATOR that KILLS people. Why is Naomi Watts in this crap? Four guys (because no one brain could have come up with something this bad) must have been lounging around smoking the pot and going "'s about an elevator...No dude, we need something else, that's enough....oh my God dude, how bout an elevator that takes people to random points in their lives...duuuuude no, that's ghey, we should make an elevator that kills people, and the movie will have horrible dialogue and atrocious acti

Warren Buffet speaks out

Hey Oliver reads fortune , and found something pretty neat... On the idea of a flat tax I wouldn’t support it. We have, in my view, a taxation system that’s much too flat already. If you look at the payroll tax—which is over 12% now, and that applies on the first $80,000 or $90,000 of income—Bill and I pay practically none of that in relation to our income. For the people that work for us, their tax rate in many cases is the same or even higher than my own, since the rate on capital gains and dividends was cut to 15%. What has gone on in this country in recent years is a huge benefit to the very rich and not that much relief to people down below. Frankly, I think that Bill and I should have a higher tax rate on the income we get. We pay less than half the rate that I was paying 25 years ago when I was making a lot less money. They have really taken care of the rich. Warren Buffett is the second richest man in America the universe and has just stated that he thinks he the wea

Is this cool or what?

Your Daddy Is Ozzy Osbourne What You Call Him: Daddy Dearest Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland Who's Your Daddy?


Note to kid: Do not leave the XBOX Live mic on when you are arguing with your mom .

Ravens find white substance

The other day Ravens coach Brian Billick had to pull his team off the field because of a white substance that was found. They brought in the police, but it was discovered that it was just the goal line, and that they had forgotten what it looked like.

Hitler was a Fag

Judging by this picture, Hitler sure does look like a flaming homo. Not like there's anything wrong with that.

Matt Nathanson @ Recher Theater tonight

Who : Matt Nathanson Where : Recher Theater , Towson. When : Doors 7PM, Matt goes on at 9:30 Come see John Thomasson play bass! He's cool, and the reason I get in for free. Gotta love guest lists!

Can money buy happiness?

If that means not having to worry about paying bills and not living paycheck to paycheck, then Michele says yes. The question is not "can a big screen tv and a fleet of Mercedes make you a happier person overall?" If I had enough money where I didn't have to live check to check, that would make me a much happier person than I am now.


Yet another hurricane. There goes the cheap gas as of late. Fuck . Just tell me why hurricanes never effected oil in previous years? All of a sudden they effect the price of oil? What gives?

And I'm not in this...

Eh, what does CNET know...

The Answer is in Plastic

There is price gouging and the proof is in plastic . Has anyone but me ever wondered why prices of gas are skyrocketing while the prices on plastic goods made in this country and around the world have literally stayed the same? The truth is that plastic products are made from petroleum, the same petroleum you use in your vehicle every day. Go to your local department store and see for yourself. Plastic toys, televisions, computers and other things made with plastic have not gone up at all. Go down to your local car dealership and look at the prices for an automobile. I will guess that plastic makes up about 30 percent to 40 percent on a new vehicle, yet the prices have stayed pretty much level in price. If there are oil shortages, than how come the price of plastic hasn't increased at all?

Let's all beat up this drunk guy!

So this guy is drunk and behaving in the normal drunken stupor and two New Orleans cops kick his ass ... because, get this... he stumbled into a police horse! Oh the humanity of it all! He's drunk. You don't arrest him. You get him off the street by driving him home, if he won't say where he lives, drop him off at a homeless shelter. That is, if you can find time in between your grand larceny joy rides . But it's easier to beat up the drunk old man.

Praying for Hurricane victims?

Yeah, let's pray , that'll help them recover. OR we could invest more money and BUILD A BETTER LEVEE SYSTEM! OHMYGOD! It could work! But if you are gonna rely on praying then let's just bulldoze all the existing levees and put the fate of New Orleans in God's hands. Fucking idiots spending their time praying when they could do something more constructive and create better levees! Donate to any charity, do work yourself, but don't waste your time praying! If praying worked then we wouldn't need levees, would we?

Harriet Miers has no credentials whatsoever.

Harriet Miers is not fit to be a Supreme Court Justice . You know why? SHE HAS NEVER BEEN A JUDGE! How do we know how she will interpret the constitution? At least with Chief Justice John G. Roberts we have a good idea where he stands, but this stupid broad needs to go back to Texas! Give another go around at that Lottery hootenanny! Yee-haw! Seriously, the fact that she has no judicial experience is the REASON why we need to delve into her religious beliefs , because who knows, she's probably one of these nutjobs who think they are God's hand or something. But this sets an interesting precedent. Some day when someone I know is President, I too, will be able to be a Justice on the Supreme Court. I don't know about you, but I can't wait! Harriet, go back to Texas and get some experience. KTHXBYE.

Walkin down the street, pushin my mower.

Yesterday I saw a man pushing a lawn mower down Lombard Street in Downtown Baltimore. He wasn't just walking down the sidewalk with a push mower, he was walking down the sidewalk with a push mower towards a bus stop. He stopped at the bus stop. God only knows why he needed to take his lawn mower on the bus that day, God only knows... God help us all. I can't believe I didn't have my camera...

Funny Halloween Moment #354676

Check out this funny Halloween anecdote.

Yes, we did beat Dallas.


Takin' it up the gas...

There is price gouging going on... Eight Democratic governors asked two weeks ago for an investigation by the Federal Trade Commission, which already had begun the probe. "To price-gouge consumers under normal circumstances is dishonest enough, but to make money off of the severe misfortune of others is downright immoral," the governors said in a letter to the commission. Lingle has asked Attorney General Mark Bennett to join other state attorneys general in supporting the FTC investigation of possible unlawful conduct. The Senate has approved a $1 million amendment to an appropriations bill to pay for the investigation. In a letter to the FTC, the governors cited a study by Don Nichols, a University of Wisconsin economist, concluding that for gas prices to reach $3 a gallon, crude oil prices would have to reach $95 a barrel , about $30 more than they have remained in recent weeks.

Redskins Win


Vegetable Oil?

You can not cook my car! Far-fetched, perhaps. But today's sky-high oil prices have sparked renewed interest in a cornucopia of exotic vehicle fuel substitutes. Consumers in energy-hungry China are turning to molasses and cassava root to fuel their cars. Many French are trying to beat the high cost of diesel by illegally pouring sunflower oil into their tanks. And the Germans are clearing grocery store shelves of rapeseed, or canola oil, to fill up on the cheap. More...

Get used to "Governor O'Malley"!

Show Ehrlich the fucking door "While other states and nations are moving forward, with leaders who bring people together, I submit to you sadly that Maryland is adrift," O'Malley said. "I have reached the conclusion that we cannot allow our state to coast or slip backward, because a stronger Maryland can do better." And let it hit him on the ass on the way out!

NJ Sues Oil Firms

NEW YORK (Reuters) - New Jersey's Acting Gov. Richard Codey on Monday said the state had sued Motiva Shell, Amerada Hess (AHC.N: Quote, Profile, Research) and Sunoco (SUN.N: Quote, Profile, Research) for overpricing gasoline after Hurricane Katrina shut much of the Gulf of Mexico's oil production and damaged refineries. New Jersey motorists paid an average of $2.87 a gallon on Monday, according to the American Automobile Association. State law bars gasoline stations from raising prices more than once every 24 hours, but Codey said multiple price changes had occurred within such a period. More... Finally something is being done about the price gouging.

New Orleans the New Venice?

I had this idea yesterday, that since New Orleans is doomed to flooding, and rebuilding to the exact way it was will just be consistantly costly, why not make it a water city like Venice, Italy ? It could be a huge tourist attraction, and let's face it, how much of a tourist attraction is the city right now? With dead bodies and contaminated water? Turn New Orleans into Venice.

Flipper the firing dolphin, is loose!

Hurricane Katrina has let loose Flipper, the firing dolphin ! Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing. That's right, attack dolphins.

Red Hot Chili Peppers' new album delayed til 2006

I cannot fucking wait for their new album to come out. "I wish to fuck that we were putting it out sooner," said Kiedis. "I'm so excited about it and I'm so ready for it to be part of the public consciousness. It's a lot different to 'By The Way'. There are some profoundly funky songs and then there are songs that are new for us and don't sound like anything." It's currently titled, " This Year's Diary ".

The Chinaman Peed on my Rug!

Chinaman cannot blog legally anymore. The Chinese government is taking action against bloggers and other sources of online news. The new censorship means any organisation or individual must register with the authorities before providing news or operating an email distribution list. Portal sites are asked to give priority to government-approved copy rather than their own comment pieces, while the regulations also warn government bodies not to provide content to news websites without government permission. So to all you Chinaman bloggers out there... keep blogging! Don't let your Gov't tell you what to do! Keep it up! (Yes there isn't a chance of the Chinaman reading this, because I am not banned in China ...I am not banned in China...I am not banned in China...I am not banned in China...You don't win friends with salad. Also, I am aware that Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclatur, Walter.

A dead bunny

Yeah, there's a dead bunny laying right in front of my driveway. Now there's no blood in the middle of the road, so how the hell is someone going to be driving on the CURB unless they were trying to kill the bunny ? I swear, I live too close to too many rednecks. There's a million and a half pickup trucks on my street. Can we just bar them from living outside of their naturual rural habitat? And limit them to one sheep per person. There's only so many sheep! Who knows what the bunny had in store for us, but we'd never know! Some redneck killed it with a truck! ... Unless it was those damn yuppies with their $1500 suits and $600 cell phones. Damn them and their bunny killing appetites.

Exploiting Children!

Anybody else think this is sick ? C'mon, selling ad space on your baby? What the fuck is wrong with these motherfuckers?

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

So, apparently, today we are supposed to talk like we're pirates ... Ok. Um. Should I get my parrot? Meh. I'm taking a nap.

Vyral @ Sonar tonight

I'll be at Sonar tonight to see Vyral . You should come out if you're from Baltimore. Tickets are $10. Doors @ 9. All ages. Come out and see a kickass band play with fire and blood.

Why is Bush asking to pee?

He's the leader of the world, yet, he still has to ask to pee ? Double you tee eff? I'm at a loss here, folks...umm, talk to that guy over there. Bye!

This is bad but...

What Dave Matthews Band song should be played in New Orleans? Don't Drink the Water .

Gas Prices Update


7 Days Torn news

I want everybody to be at the Recher Theater in Towson, MD on September 21st at 8pm to see 7 Days Torn ! Tickets available at VIP Billiards in Catonsville (right next to Pizza Hut on Route 40) or at the box office. $10 / $13 for U-21. Recher Theater 512 York Road, Towson, MD 21204 BE THERE OR BE STUPID

How was the weekend?

Well, I drowned my cell phone in a pool, and was right next to a urinating cow. Other than that it was pretty uneventful. So yeah, on Saturday Lily had a bright idea to throw people in a pool and wanted to throw me in. She did tell me to take out my wallet, keys, and phone, but I stupidly, took out only the first two. I still don't have a clue how I forgot about my phone, but I fully submerged it into the pool. And yesterday from 3:30 to 10:30 I was at the Maryland State Fair . I petted the cow!!111 Then it peed. Fortunately my cell phone started to work again this morning (I almost got another one yesterday, but held out, and now I am glad I did), and I think I have recovered from standing next to a waterfall of urine, so everything is hunky-dory.

New Orleans Mayor has some choice words

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has a message to the President . GET THIS GUY IN A QUENTIN TARANTINO FILM!!!!!SOMEMOREEXCLAMATIONMARKS!!!!!

Way to bring politics into this, Bushie

Has anybody noticed that Bush has sent more aid to Mississippi than to Louisana? Could it possibly have anything to do with the fact that Mississippi is a red state and New Orleans is heavily democratic. I bet if Texas had a national diaster, Bush would send over everything including the kitchen sink, but because New Orleans is mostly black, Bush is like, "Fuck 'em, let 'em eat cake." Fuck Bush up the ass. Yes, get all the gay men of the world together to sodomize the President!!!

Some People in New Orleans Deserve to Die

And those people are the fucks who got on the bus from the Superdome and left their pet stranded on the side of the road and those people who left their pets stranded on their rooftop. If you're gonna be that sick and inhumane, you DO NOT DESERVE TO BE RESCUED. End of story. Get the fuck in the ocean, now. So you're in a homeless shelter aka the Superdome, and you're about to leave to go to a much better shelter, when you are told your pet cannot come with. What do you do? Do you throw your pet away like yesterday's trash or do you forcefully take your dog or cat on the bus with you and raise hell? If you're a good person, you chose the second choice. How can people be so cruel? And it's not just about that either. It's about public health. You don't want people roaming the streets and living in a shithole, getting rabbies, so you leave that fate to your pets? What the fuck is your issue? Will the animal slow down the rescue mission? If that's the c

New Orleans 20% Dry

You could say that New Orleans is wet ...and it'd be true! Why? The Saints have no where to play!

Gas prices soaring above $3/gallon


Holy Shiite! 841 Dead in Stampede!

Mental note: Do not move to Baghdad .

iTunes? Apple? Phone? To?

Rumor has is that Apple is about to release an iTunes phone , thanks to Motorola. Not sure how I feel about that. Does our phone really need to dub as our iPod? Meh.


Somebody said a bad four letter word that starts with an 'F' !!!! On Fox News no less! OMG PRAISE THE LORD!

So what's this about burying New Orleans?

I hear there's a a category 4 hurricane headed straight for New Orleans? Freakin' sweet. Carry on. No seriously, New Orleans is cool but this would be cooler. Think of all the death! CAN YOU SMELL THE DEATH? KILL! KILL! KILL! Update! The Superdome has been infiltrated !

How was the Unwritten Law, Papa Roach, and 311 show last night?

It was alright.

Almost went to a great show last night

Well, technically, I did go. The thing is that nobody else was there and I had to prevent Liz from committing public urination and flashing truckers. So Lily, Liz, and I leave Reisterstown at about 5PM yesterday and head down I-95 South to go to the Nissan Pavilion , to see Unwritten Law, Papa Roach, and 311. Or so we thought. First thing to go wrong is that we're using Mapquest for directions. Not just the usual internet print-out kind, the CELL PHONE kind. Mapquest ingeniously directs us into downtown Washington. We got a great view of the Washington Monument, Capital Building, and the Smithsonian... but no Nissan. :-( We eventually stop at a Quality Inn to ask for some directions, which were pretty good, so it's not just a name. Those quality directions tell us we have to get on I-66 west to exit 43b, which is about 50 minutes away! Unwritten Law goes on at 6:30! It's already 6:30! Lily flips a bitch, "I'm missing Unwritten Law!" But we get there, at about

Seether and Crossfade at Sonar tonight

Tonight I'll be at Sonar to see Seether and Crossfade ! Hopefully it'll go better than last time ... I really don't want to lose another pair of glasses. Playing pool again with Eddie would be cool though.

Since you've been gone

I can breathe for the first time... I'm so movin' on... yeah yeah... thanks to you... now I get...what I can I put it? You put me-- Is it wrong to be so addicted to Kelly Clarkson? I'm sorry, I can't help myself.

Important News Bulletin

Where the hell is the fucking extension cord?

Crack and Guns

Here's a joke: You're in Baltimore City (or any major city) and you get stopped by the police with some crack and a loaded pistol, what do you do? Do you give the cop the crack or blow his head off?

Microsoft determined to kill the Xbox

Microsoft's new system, the Xbox 360, is being priced at $399 . Way to go giving that market to Sony! You rock! W00t!

Hi Mom and Dad

So after three years, they find my site.

How many licks?

Mr. Turtle and Mr. Owl couldn't find out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie roll pop , and that stupid kid couldn't either... but my sources have told me that the number of licks is... 356. Okay, that's all.

Things I Learned on my Trip to New Jersey

I had a little weekend getaway to New Jersey this past weekend for like a vacation. Well it was really just to see some friends, but let's pretend. First off, New Jersey wasn't as bad as the first time I went there when I was in Pennsauken and crashed my car because nobody there knows how to merge into traffic. Anyway. It was cool, but there's still those annoying aspects of New Jersey. I'll explain: --Only in NJ does 295 North turn into 95 South. 295 is like a beltway, but half of it is the western split of I-95. It's pretty weird. --Do not try to find a White Castle in NJ. It really is hard like in the movie . It's really not in New Brunswick. That really is a Burger King. We could have gone to Cherry Hill, but we didn't feel like dying. We really should have gone to Freehold, but for some reason, I didn't want to. Heh. --You CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT, pump your own gas. I thought surely there'd be a few self-serv stations, but there are none of tho

Mac OS X for Intel cracked

I go away to New Jersey for the weekend (didn't get online at all) and my friend Curtis "deadmoo" installs Mac OS X on an Intel machine . Apparently he created quite a buzz, just about every news site is talking about it, including Wired and G4TV. He says Kevin Rose of The Screen Savers will be doing a story about this in his next podcast.

Can I ask WHY?

Why do women insist on taking me with them to pick out vibrators?

Gas Prices Are Unnecessarily High

The average price of gas is $2.40/g for regular unleaded, but at the stations around my home, the prices are a lot closer to $2.50/g. Why do prices have to be so high when ExxonMobile is scoring profits of $7 BILLION ? If you're bringing in more money than you need, why keep milking the shit out of your customers? It doesn't make any sense. And all you can do is sit back, relax, and enjoy being price gouged. Because that's legal in America. Haven't you read the constitution? Price gouging is legal. Also, do not give me this crap that you could just find another means of transportion. "You don't have to drive! You can ride a bike, take a cab, or a bus!" That's fucking bullshit. What about truck drivers? Are truck drivers supposed to carry their loads on their back while they bicycle down I-95? Or maybe they could just throw their shit in the trunk of a cab? Or let some old lady hold it on a bus? Other means my ass. This is price gouging and President

They be crimpin' mah ride!

Man, when I got my scion tC last August, I felt special. I felt like I driving something nobody else had. Now every fucking day I see another tC. It pisses me off. I had it first bitch, quit stealin' mah thunder! Fucking posers.

Robert Novak is a whiny little bitch

CNN suspends Robert Novak for being a bitch. Just watch and enjoy .


Some guy out there likes me. I hope it's not in a sexual way.


Since I don't know how badly WordPress is attacked by spammers, I am opening up my comments to everybody. You don't need to register to comment. If you want to submit stuff, go ahead and register, but to just comment, you don't need to do anything special. Unless your comment is special, then you have to. Is your comment special? It's special if you're special! Are you special? How many more times can I say the world special? Did you know that every time I have typed the world special I have mispelled it as specail? That's a special way to spell special, I'll say! I guess that makes me special? special

Sonar and Tim Kaye

Went to Sonar with Jenna, Lily, and Curtis last night to see Tim Kaye , except we got there at 9:30 and he had already finished. So we just hung out in the lounge for a few hours and played pool. Tim walked in the lounge briefly and said "hey" and that was that. Static X is playing at Sonar on Friday, and I may be there, if I can remember to get advanced tickets or tickets before they sell out. Seether and Crossfade are at Sonar on the 23rd, and I am definitely going to that show. Last time Crossfade was at Sonar, back in Feburary, I wound up playing pool with Eddie. That was fun. Well, I'm just waiting for time to pass until I can go pick up Jenna from work. I think I should stop blogging because this is starting to get boring. Oh yeah, one more thing, I put up a new logo, as you probably guessed. It's not supposed to amuse you, so if it does, I failed miserably.

Saudi Arabia a friend? I think not.

So the Saudi king dies and Bush calls Crown Prince Abdullah to express condolences and says called "Fahd 'a friend and ally of the United States for decades.'" A friend and ally? When 15 of the 19 9/11 hijackers were of Saudi citizens? Is that a friend? What did King Fahd do to controll his people? Nothing. The fucker did nothing. He's not a friend. He's an idiot. Burn in hell, King Fahd.

The Devil's Rejects

The other day I saw The Devil's Rejects , and I don't know why. I never saw House of 1000 Corpses and Rob Zombie as a director really doesn't entice me, but I thought I'd give things a chance. It wasn't that bad, if you like snuff films, which aren't particularly my cup of tea, but it was an interesting take on the whole crazy-redneck-cannibalism genre. The film starts out with a raid on the crazy redneck house, then a manhunt. And of course during the manhunt those crazy rednecks do more killing. And it's brutal. Rob Zombie tries to be artsy with things and not show the killings themselves, but he fails a few times. How else can you have a girl get smashed by an 18-wheeler and not show something? Then the movie shifts to the revenge factor. The sherrif, played by William Forsythe, is on a mission of revenge, as his brother was once killed by one of the crazy rednecks, and he starts kicking ass and taking names. Anyway, the film ends well with a nice Bonnie

So yeah, WordPress.

One of the nicer things about this is that if you register to comment (which you have to, because I decided to be ghey like that), you have the ability to submit post-worthy material to me. I'll probably be an elite fuck and not approve anything you submit, but you never know, it could be really special. Speaking of special, try walking through the Arundel Mills Mall parking lot anytime after 11pm, you'll find a whole array of things. You've got glass bottles, napkins, paper cups, paper plates, SOCKS, and poopy baby diapers. Hey, I think that's the first time I've used the phrase 'poopy baby diapers' in the three years I have been blogging. Actually, I think that's the first time I've used the word 'poopy'... ... I don't know how I feel about that. Well, register and submit me stuff that I probably won't approve. Catch ya on the flipside.

Hey switch, turn it over and hit it

Well, I finally did it. I moved away from Movable Type. It hurts. Not only was it the only CMS I was used to, but it was the CMS that started it all for me, and I feel all dirty, like I just betrayed a loved one. However, WordPress is so much sleeker. It's all PHP, none of that Perl bullshit, and it even has it's own blogrolling system, so I had to switch. Yeah, I lost the originality of my old design , but I think it was time for that to change as well. I haven't changed that layout (with the exception of the logo) in 2 years. Something needed to change. I'll eventually make a new logo to replace the text logo I have right now, and the colors may change, but for now, they won't. Peace and keep reading if you were reading in the first place and maybe start reading if you weren't reading in the first place

100 Degrees of Hell

It's fucking hot. No wait, 'hot' can not possibly describe the elements today. HOLYFUCKSHIT is more like it. I walked outside in a parking lot, and it felt like I just submerged myself in 6 feet of water. I tried to sweat, and my skin said, "that's not necessary." So it's hot and I'll give a prize to the first person who sends me something cold. Anything. As long as it's cold.

Call Harvey Birdman! 1-877-MANBIRD!

That's right! Do you need legal advice? Do you want to listen to him sing? Did you get that thing he sent you? Then call Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law! 1-877-MAN-BIRD! That's 1-877-626-2473.

Tip #128: Do not go to Denny's with gas

This is going to be short. In fact, just listen. Do not go to Denny's with gas. People will die. That's all. It's good advice. Take it.

Podcasts? Maybe I'll try that one day...

Everybody is talking about this "Podcast" thing, and I have yet to dive head first into it. In fact, I haven't even dived in feet first, or even simply waded in the above-ground podcast pool. But maybe I should. It's definitly on my mind. Sounds like fun and tastes like happy. Well there really isn't anything else to talk about, so I won't bore you anymore.

EMO quote of the day

"Your so emo, all you need now is a LiveJournal acccount and an Evanescence CD." -My friend Jen, not be confused with Jenna or Gwen.

7 days torn in fells point again

all of you motherfuckers from md better come down to fletcher's (in fells point, on the corner of st and aliceanna) monday to see this kickass local band by the name of 7 DAYS TORN. cover is only $5 for all ages. listen to some of their tunes:

Pansy Girl

I've been on the ride about 5 times, but she can't withstand "MGM's Tower of Terror". Silly girl. And the 4 year old boy who couldn't withstand "Mission: Space" is also a pansy, as well as the 77 year old woman who rode "Pirates of the Carribean".

The Worst Movie of 2004

So I finally got around to seeing Napoleon Dynamite. It's the stupidest fucking movie ever made. It's bland. It's plain. It's boring. And most importantly, it's not funny. Which normally wouldn't be a bad thing, after all you could say that it's bland, plain, and boring because it's depicting the redundancies of real life, but you can't. Why can't you? Because this is labeled a comedy , yet it is not funny in the slightness. Case in point: Napoleon's brother meets a black girl off the Internet and starts acting all pimp and gangsta. Like this hasn't been done before. Boring. Not funny. Case #2: Token Mexican Pedro. Yeah, let's just throw in a token mexican just to make the movie funny because as we all know, wetbacks are COMEDY GOLD! You're fucking stupid for thinking he was funny. This is one of the worst films of 2004, and all of you who raved on and on about this movie and convinced me to see it need to have your definition of

This ain't funny

Who the fuck stole all my condoms?!?

I'm mixing 151 with Malibu rum and pineapple juice

I'm back! Again! Yes! I have returned! For now anyway, I may slip into another deep chasm of great sex that happens when you're in the back corner of the blogosphere for too long, but for now, I am back. Oh yeah and there's a new Maddox! He goes off on blogs. Blogebrity: Wow, guess what this one stands for? Too easy. Hey, anyone can do it: take a blogger who's a chef, and you get: BLEF. A blogger who's a dentist? BENTIST. A female blogger with an itch? You guessed it: a BITCH. What else... the Orioles are falling back to Earth. The Nats are on Cloud 9. Bobby Abreu won the home run derby. And the Yankees still suck. I'm putting so many miles on my car. It's only like 10 months old and it has 37k miles on it. Already had the major servicing. It's crazy. Guess it shows how much I love the Scion tC. That's all for now. This was a skimpy post, but I'll try to post more in the future. And if I don't, suck on my left nut.

National 7/11 Day

Today is National 7/11 day! Everybody go out and buy a slurpee to celebrate! Or perhaps a coffee.

Pooping at Denny's

So last night I was at Denny's and somebody totally shat in one of the urinals while we were there. I had to pee when I got there, and again after we ate, but sometime in-between somebody pooped in the urinal. I felt sorry for whoever had to clean that mess up. That's it. I only had to talk about poop at Denny's.

MySpace Tip #5209142

Alright, this one is pretty simple: If the only pictures you have to share on MySpace have somebody else in them, please point out which one of them is you. It would be appreciated.

War of the Worlds

Despite having to wait an hour and eventually switch theaters because a projector wouldn't run properly, this movie was FUCKING AWESOME . Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning feed off each other so well, who knows, maybe in ten years, they'll be dating. And let's not forget about Tim Robbins. I was surprised to see him in the movie, as I hadn't read much about the film, and I was overjoyed. His role was small, but it definitely enhanced the film. There isn't anything negative I can say about the film, there are some holes, but it's almost to be expected with films from this genre so I really don't care. See this on the big screen or don't even bother.

Oh yeah, I had to change a tire.

Pot holes suck. Fill them all now. I apparently hit one. Not sure when, but probably in the past week. Today I was a gas station in Pikesville and some lady ran up to the car to tell me my right rear tire was flat. It was really flat. There's no apparent gash in it, so it can probably be sealed. I hope so. But yeah, I have my donut on now. Fuckin' donuts. I also feel like shit. Have some sort of chest cold. Is it going around? Just took some NyQuil, the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, how the fuck did I wake up on the kitchen floor medicine. Going to sleep. And read my last post, my best friend is an escort, get her while her prices are cheap, 'cause she's so good, they're going nowhere but up. The best thing though, you all have to pay to see her naked. I don't. Bwhahahaha. I talk to her while she's taking a shower all the time. ^_^

The Orlando Bloom Audition Process OR Orlando Bloom Fucking Sucks

Anybody see Kingdom of Heaven ? Yes, it sucks, but that's not my point. My point is that Orlando Bloom plays a blacksmith, again. He also has a sword, again. Basically, when Orlando Bloom walks into an audition, he asks, "Can I play a blacksmith? No? Well do I at least get to play with a sword? ROCK ON, I'M IN!" Orlando Bloom cannot act. He plays the same characters and the same roles. That is not acting. That is being yourself. Yes, I just called Orlando Bloom a fucking sword-carrying blacksmith. Got a problem with it, bitch? That's right... And what?!? Orlando Bloom is the worst actor ever. He has zero range. If his range were a food that sucks it'd be really bad dog food. Put him in a Tarantino movie, at least let him get typecasted by somebody who's cool. And one more thing, Orlando, you're not hot. Girls don't want you. I know, it stings, doesn't it?

The Cowardly Lion is a Pussy

Anybody ever realize that the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz was a pussy? In 2 of the 3 most popular definitions? I think about a lot when I'm bored.

Yet Another Friday Night Story

Okay, so I had yet another amazing night this past Friday (6/17). So great in fact that I've been too fucking tired to tell you all about it til now. I think you've dealt with those realizations pretty well. Patience is a virtue, never forget that. ACT ONE Alright, so Friday at about 5:30 in the PM, I leave Columbia to go pick up Jenna in Pikesville. It usually takes about 25-30 minutes, it took 60. SIXTY FUCKING MINUTES. The reason? There was an accident on I-70 East. I must have been at a complete dead stop for 10 minutes at one point. Nothing was moving. Looking back it foreshadowed things to come quite nicely. The traffic Gods AKA MD State Troopers finally cleared the cars to the side and traffic started moving, and I was able to speed on I-695 West to Liberty Road as traffic was moving mighty swiftly. I get on Liberty Road, make a right onto Washington Ave, then another right onto Millford Mill Road, and right before Reisterstown Road I get stuck behind an MTA bus. First i

Kennedy and Lincoln

This is pretty creepy. Somebody posted this on myspace. The facts are legit.

Harry Potter in Troll?

Holy hell, I never realized that the movie Troll used the name "Harry Potter"... did JK Rowling get the name from this movie?

Condoleeza Chickens & Rice

I just saw Condoleeza Rice on MSNBC, and I must say, not only does she look like one, but she's as dumb as a gorilla on crack. God damn.

The 5 Stages of Drinking

"Who's Ruby ?"

Last night was like whoa