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You're not a student, you're just a fat kid!

This story comes from Texas. Wait, don't go, this isn't about cow tipping or deer hunting. The Texas school system wants to put a BMI on student's report cards.

and almost as if on cue, I think of family guy:
Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.
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