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A letter from God

Dear Internet Fellows,

Yes. I am God. I am Jesus, and I'm the Holy Ghost. When I'm in a room with my shoes off and two nuns, it's an orgy. Think tea time and Winnie the Pooh, and you'll need a very long rest. I took a rest once, and it did wonders. Why? Because I am God. You say God doesn't need sleep? Well you're fucking wrong. It's very tiring looking after all you simpletons, sometimes I just turn my back for a few millenia and play with my girlfriend.

Speaking of whom. She's so hot. She really wants my cock, yeah I'm old enough to be her great great grandfather, but so what, it doesn't matter, wanna fight about it? You can't beat me, you can only hope to contain me! Seriously dudes, I "pwn" all, using a word of your parlance. Godbless the girl. Hehe.

Crap, I got sidetracked, and you let it happen. Bozzy told me to get right down to business and instead I talked about my love interest, well, anyway, I will be periodically posting my thoughts on your lovely world through the medium of this website. You can thank Bozzy for allowing this to happen.

Well, I have to go now, the woman stopped washing the dishes, I have to go slap her ass. I'll be back later.

Toodles,

God


So there you have it, from the Big Man himself. If you have any questions for God, leave a message. God will respond to each and all of your questions. Just give him time, He can get overwhelmed too you know.

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