Kill All Telemarketers, Especially Lisa Eastwood

I received this postcard in the mail today. At first I was taken aback because it says they're "trying to reach me" and that they have "good news", I thought immediately this was the California lottery (which I play DAILY!) informing me a winning ticket... Of course by then I had put down my shot of Jager and realized they would have called me had I won, and that I didn't win anything.

I was still very curious about who wanted to reach me. So I did what any good American tax-paying citizen would do: I went to the neighborhood Google and they referred me to their website, aptly named I didn't think much of their website at first, it was just a few links and this bar thingy, but I played along and realized I HAD ALL THE INFORMATION IN THE WORLD AT MY FINGERTIPS! So I did what any soon to be evil dictator would do with all the world's information melting on the tips of their fingers... I did a search, dumbass.

That search lead me to this place by the name of Enigmous, and it seemed to be about the very problem I had! "Eureka" I said so loud the dog ate the cat, out of shock, then spit her up out of grief, then ate it again when it realized the cat was dead. This, however, was nothing compared to the complete and utter surprisal which was to come next... THE POSTCARD THAT WAS SENT TO ME HAD LEAPED INTO THE MAGICAL SQUARE THAT HOUSES GOOGLE AND OTHER GLORIOUS COMPANIES. But I looked down and realized my postcard was still there on my desk, and that my shot of Jager was all gone, so I continued to peruse, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had occured...

And I found out this was all just a magazine scam. Bummer. Fuckin' telemarketers.


  1. Right on! I had no idea what that stupid postcard what about until I read about it on your site! Who do those morons think they are, asking us to call when they don't even have the courtesy to identify themselves first?
    Thank You for sharing your insight!

  2. I just got mine today. Why did they send a post card they could just call and bug me like the rest of them so I can ignore them better but no. Jerks!! I wonder what it says though I may have to

  3. I got my postcard today, and my first instinct was like, okay who is stalking me now? So, I ran a Google for the 800 number on the back of the post card and the only two sites that came up were for I was relieved, and then I became more curious, so I did another search for Lisa Eastwood which is the name signed on the back of the postcard, and that search led me to this site. So, all in all it has been a good night. I know better than to call the number. I know that it is a big scam. I'm pleased.

  4. Yeahp, me as well. I actually favored them by giving them a ring.
    The post card is a complete scam, possibly even fraud.
    They ask a fake ass series of questions about your credit card service and if your pleased. Visa, Master card american express.

    This is the draw, they make it seem like your company set you up for this. But then.. yeahp, the magazine offer. You can get a free $1000 online shopping spree if you subscribe to Entrepreneur magazine and news weekly. They would simply shift you to another person and they would glady take your billing information.

    I paused her there and asked her what my home address was, which she stated she did not know. I asked her to repeat my PIN# I had originally received when I called. She then claimed to not be at a computer.

    I don't believe this is even a case of telemarketers. This my friends, is a scam to steal your cash.BEWARE!

  5. You guys are pretty lucky that these people have not tried to contact you by phone. I have a cell phone that they have been trying, for at least the past 3 months, to burn up! When the calls first started, they were calling my number up to 7 times a day! I actually felt lucky when I didn't recieve a call in a 24 hour period. Total, these people have called my phone approximately 173 times! And what makes it even worse is the fact that my cell phone is pre-paid: how did they even get the number? I have recieved a letter twice from them now. These people are itching to get ahold of me and my Visa debit card number. CAVEAT EMPTOR!

  6. Hi guys. I read this post and recently these people have been trying to bomb my cell phone and everytime they cal it says unknown. I picked up the phone and a woman named Tracey Hicks claimed to be calling from an international line. They told me I had won a $1000 shopping spree because I was a preferred user of visa/mastercard. To claim my prize I have to pay for one magazine and then get 4 free in order to get my $1000 shopping spree. At this point I was already pissed because they kept calling me at work and the line would ring every 30 minutes. I politely told them I was not sure because of all the scams out there but she reassured it was not. So after Tracey asked me a few general questions she handed and I mean handed because I heard the shuffling of the phone over to another woman who then asked for my credit card number. Of course I didn't give it to her and I told her I was not sure because I feel uncomfortable. After a few more minutes of trying to persuade me, she ended the conversation with "fine have a good da..." and hung up before she even finished her last word.

    I hate these stupid calls. I registered for the do not call list but I seem to get even more of those dam calls nowadays.

  7. thats because the do not call list doesnt work. you can have all the rules and laws you want but they dont mean dick if they arent enforced.


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