Deer in the Headlights

A few years ago, my friend and her ex-boyfriend (then boyfriend) were driving down some road in their Mitsubishi Eclipse. (And why must my stories always involve a Mitsubishi Eclipse? I seem to be pyschically connected to that car.) I do not remember what road, but it was pretty big. For arguements sake, let's say Route 40. If you take 40 east, you'll go though the city and that would be convienant for him since it's not a surprise to anyone that he loves heroin.

Anyway, they were driving. And it was dark. Very dark. And there this big truck. A very big truck. And it riding right next to them, a very big them. Okay, I'll stop. So yeah the semi was right next to their car, and that's pretty scary in and of itself, if you have ever been close to a semi. All of a sudden a deer jumps out into the road. The truck cannot stop. It's not supposed to. They seriously are trained not to stop for anything, even a person, as they are too big and have too much mass and momentum to stop. They're not going to risk wrecking their truck and cargo over a petty animal, or human. Yes, not even you, shutup. Let me tell my story, bitch.

So the big 18-wheeler hits the deer and the deer explodes, sending deer parts all over the wonderful Eclipse, making it no longer wonderful. They drove straight to the nearest car wash, but when they got home, they still had deer intestines all over the car. They had parts all over the front windshield, rear windshield, doors, windows, intenstines hanging from side mirrors, rear view mirrors... Okay maybe not rear view mirrors, but the car was covered with deer entails. Have a nice dinner tonight.

Let this be a lesson to you all, never never drive next a truck, unless of course you're truckin', you know, trying to break up a radar gun's line of sight by driving next to a truck. But that's another story, and it's not worth telling. At least just yet, and to you. Sorry, you know I love you, all of you. Pleasant eating.


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