The Past, Present, and Future of Blogging

In another month, I will have been at this little thing called blogging for three years. Whoa, three years. Yes, three years. Which is usually the amount of time I quit doing something and focus my short attention span on some new shiny thing.

In the three years I have been blogging I have gone from having a day-to-day journal blog, to a tech blog, to a political blog, and most recently to a general comedy and rant blog. I guess I have a pop culture blog now, I really don't know. Everytime I try to pigeonhole my blog my head begins to hurt and I start to cry. When I cry, things just happen to break or otherwise stop working... on their own. Yeah.

So I started blogging as an online journal, and that got really stupid, really quickly. I mean, I did start out on Blogger (via tripod) but I quickly moved to Movable Type, and this online journal crap is for LiveJournal, plus it's fucking conceited. Who gives a flying fuck what you fed your dog for breakfast two days ago or their walking and shitting habits, you self-centered prick. It's really stupid and vain.

Then I discovered these type of blogs and realized that blogging my life was stupid and that I needed to talk about geeky things like my computer more. And do posts like OMG TODAY I JUST OVERCLOCKED MY LINUX BOX AND THREE TROLLS CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET TO PARTY WITH MY RETAINER... IT WAS GRAND. Those days were fun, I guess. I got to watch a lot of TechTV, which I am not linking to, because G4TTV can now lick my asshole.

Then in the first quarter of 2003, I realized there was quite a few popular bloggers actually talking politics and trying to sound like they cared. Some do care, some just fucking post to keep pinging weblogs.com, these are what we call posers. Posers deserve to be ass-fucked. (Hey, Michele told people they should work in the ass-fucking. Didn't think I would, but it just came out. Sorry.) But back to the political blogging. I found Oliver Willis in early '03 and was like "whoa, this dude's in Maryland too! And when I found out he loves the Redskins, he was a permanent fixture on my blogroll, permanent as in never going to be removed, not permanent as in your bathroom towel rack that keeps falling off the wall. You know the rack I'm talking about.

But aside from reading his blog, political blogging was never big with me. Everybody else I tried to read (including Michele before she stopped poblogging) just irritated the hellshit out of me and made me generally pissed off and sometimes specifically pissed off. Throwing rocks, both real and metaphorical. This was not good in the friend-making arena.

Then we went to war with Iraq, and things in the blogosphere (btw I hate that term but I also hate peas and still eat those so yeah) took a turn. Everybody and their mom was getting a blog and blogging everything except the kitchen sink. Some did blog the kitchen sink too... fucking whores. Blogging went from something geeky teens did to something that adults were doing. Adults with real jobs. People were saying blogging would eventually kill the real media and such. I doubt that will ever happen, but that's what people were saying. Yeah, people started legitimizing blogging, and bloggers were getting terribly vain again, even more so than the LiveJournal "TODAY I BURNT MY POP TARTS AND MY MOM YELLED AT ME" bloggers. These were the "I HAVE AN OPINION AND YOU MUST AGREE OR I WILL SPAM YOUR SITE" bloggers. Annoying little fucks. So yeah, more metaphorical rock throwing was occuring and turning off readers and some bloggers stopped with the news/war/poblogging all together.

I eventually did too. And this was about the time that my forums sprang up, so I was like, "Okay, I'll leave the politics to the forums". It was hard to do at first, I kept wanting to cross-post stuff, and did a few times, but now I have pretty much left all the politics out of my blog and just kept with pop culture and comedy. I don't anticipate changing the focus anymore, either. I've carved out a small little niche for myself in the blogosphere (still hate that word, but not as much as I hate being too tired to masturbate) and it's pretty comfy in here. I rather enjoy it. I don't care if you think I'm not funny or the most unfunny person alive, I would rather eat spaghetti off a goat's balls then listen to what you think of me. Go ahead and comment, I'll fucking rape you with a 40 foot garden hose.

Hi. So yeah, it's been a fun or at the very least an eventful three years of blogging. Have I ever been tired of blogging? Of course. I'll stop blogging for 5 days if I have to. Or 12 days, which is my longest dry spell, granted I was also on vacation with my family, but whatever being tired of blogging is perfectly normal. If it's starting to feel like a chore, stop, by all means. Blog when you get that urge. You know, that urge that usually starts somewhere in your pelvis and travels in waves throughout your entire body, exploding out your orifaces if ignored. And that's when you have something to blog about. HEY GUYS, SOMETHING CAME OUT OF MY NOSE AND EARS AND I FELT LIKE SHARING IT WITH THE WORLD! (This is where you upload a picture or somehow put the actual excrement on your blog.)

Where is blogging going? Nobody knows, well actually every blogger pretends to know, and blogs about it. I'm the only one who knows for sure. Blogging will always be around, blogging about anything and everything that they think people will care to read. Bloggers themselves may come and go and come back again, only to leave when you fall back in love with them. That's how it works. Post something when YOU feel compelled to. Readers can spot filler from 50 miles away, while under the influence of a sinus infection. That's the one and only thing they're good for... Hey look, a butterfly.

Longest blog post evar!!11

Til next time, keep doing whatever it is that you're doing. Or I steal your domain and talk about the pooping habits of my animals.