Why did Paris Defriend Nicole? Let's brainstorm!!!!!!!

As you all are aware, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are no longer dating, I mean, are no longer friends. How did that lesbian thought get into my head?!? Bad, Bozzy, Bad!

Okay, but why are they no longer friends? Paris said, "It's no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends" and that "Nicole knows what she did." Hmm...

So it has to be something obvious. It's not a big secret and Nicole knows about it, and let's face it, Nicole is a bit flakey, so it must really be obvious.

This has nothing to do with Paris or Nicole, or the whole situation, but I thought it looked cool:

What would be obvious? Did Nicole forget to feed Paris' cat? Or maybe Nicole was walking Paris' dog and the dog got loose and ran to the sanctuary of a moving car's tire. Or maybe it had nothing to do with animals. Let's say it had nothing to do with animals. What good stormin!

Let's brainTHUNDERstorm some more!

"Last week, Hilton, 24, told USA Today that Richie will be replaced on "The Simple Life" by her friend Kimberly Stewart, the daughter of singer Rod Stewart."

Interesting development. I knew that fucking turd Rod Stewart would be involved. Fucking cockstabber... and bad parent. So Kimberly had to do something to Nicole! What could she have done? AH!!! I KNOW!!! She forgot to walk her dog!!!!

Okay, this isn't about animals. We will strike animals off the list... now.

If it's not about animals, then why would Paris stop talking to Nicole? C'mon, it doesn't make any sense!!!

Wait a minute. I need to do a search on Google... ... Damnit. Nicole's sex tape doesn't have a higher page ranking than Paris'. I was sure that would be the reason. I'm really stumped now.

Here's another sweet ride:

Let's go back to the article.
"Richie, the 23-year-old daughter of R&B crooner Lionel Richie, announced her engagement to club DJ Adam Goldstein in February."

Could it have something to do with Adam? Did Adam lose Paris' dog and blame it on Nicole? Oh, sorry. Maybe Adam had an affair with Paris and being the egotistical and domineering beast she is, she blamed it on Nicole, when Nicole was the one who had the right to be mad. That's are best bet, but it doesn't pass the Google test.

Ah, fuck it, it was the lesbian space alien who kidnapped the troll under the bridge where Paris had her first kiss. I'm going to lunch.


  1. "Paris Hilton has ditched Nicole Richie from the fourth series of their Simple Life TV show - after a joke went wrong.

    The blonde heiress had invited friends round to watch a video of her Saturday Night Live performance - but prankster Nicole reportedly put on Paris' infamous sex tape instead.

    After a massive row, the former best friends are said to be completely ignoring each other. "



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