Random Roadtrips

Sunday night around 9ish I get a call from Jenna, she tells me she and Rob (Not her boyfriend) are driving up to New Jersey to visit some friends of hers. I'm like, "Cool. Have fun!", I go back to picking up Dana from work.

I get another call about 20 minutes later. Jenna drove the wrong way down I-95 (on the right side of the road, not that wrong way, ass) and was like, "495? Double you tee eff, mate?" So this call I get is as she is passing Routes 175 and 100 on 95, and she says, "Tell me how I wound up going south on 95 instead of North?" I didn't have an answer at that juncture. End of phone call.

At this time, Dana finally comes out of Target, where she works. I drive her home, and then go home myself. When I get a call from Jenna again. They're not going to New Jersey, she says. "James, we're not going to New Jersey." Where are they going? I asked afterwards. "New York", she replies. "@#@#@#@DWLKJS" I replied. New fucking York. When are you coming back? "Tomorrow morning", she says. Yes, she said tomorrow [Monday] morning. I said that's going to be a lot of driving. "That's going to be a lot of driving, Jenna." But she was like, "I know, it's cool." So they went to New York City, because apparently her Jersey friend wasn't in Jersey (what a surprise there), he was in New York City. So I'm like, "Cool. Have fun!" and I go to sleep thinking they'll be back tomorrow.

So tell me why Tuesday morning at about 10 I get a call from her and the first thing she asks is, "James, guess where we are?" I said I didn't want to guess. I was scared. She then said, "Vermont." My jaw dropped. "YOU TOOK 95 ALL THE WAY TO VERMONT!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR ISSUE?!?" She giggled. This wasn't a laughing matter.

There was nothing funny about this. You don't drive all way up to Vermont in the middle of the night just to....wait for it...wait for it....go to a Ben & Jerry's factory and eat ice cream. Yeah, that's what they did. How they went from seeing a friend in NYC to "Lt. Dan, ice cream!!", I don't wanna know, but they did.

But wait! There's more! She told me they were going to go to Niagara Falls next, they said they'd like to get their by 7pm yesterday, and that they'd be back in MD by 8:30 Wednesday morning. It was more like 10pm or so, I have no idea if they actually went all the way. I don't think it struck them at all that parks close at dusk. Yeah, they said they just wanted to go there for a minute and then turn around and go to... Ohio. To visit her dad and her best childhood friend.


It never ends. Over 1200 miles and counting. And she's never going to live down going south on 95 instead of north. See, she got on 95, north of Baltimore, so my guess is, being the directionally and locationally challenged girl she plays herself out to be, she followed the signs to Baltimore, thinking she would be going north, as Baltimore is north of Columbia. But she wasn't in Columbia, SHE WAS ALREADY NORTH OF BALTIMORE!!! *another sigh*

Well, that's all I know now, I'll let you know if I hear from them.

update 11:32am
Jenna just called me. They're in Niagara Falls. She said they're about to go on the "Maid of the Mist" tour. I said this: "What have I told you about going to Niagara Falls without me?" She laughed. She still insists she's going to be back by 8:30 tomorrow morning. I think they will, she loves to drive, even all night.

update: 1:33pm
Talked to her again, the tour was great, she got pretty wet. No, not like that. They were eating at a Hard Rock Cafe, and then they are going to cross the border into Canada, just so they can say they went to Canada, and then turn around and start the long drive back to Maryland.

update: 5/11 7:31am
I talked to her about 8:30 last night, they were in Ohio, and said they would be spending the night at either her friend Jake's house or her dad's house, both of which she has not seen since she was 11. I'm happy for her, but I miss her sooo much. She needs to get back here. She also said they didn't have enough money to get back, but that they would ask her dad and Jake for some gas money.

update: 5/13 12:07pm
They got back last night, they spent the last two days in Ohio with her friends. They got back and the raodtrip is over. You can all go back to your spaghetti.


  1. You forgot about the WHITE CASTLE....and Jen. You can't forget about her, lol.....


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