The Orlando Bloom Audition Process OR Orlando Bloom Fucking Sucks

Anybody see Kingdom of Heaven? Yes, it sucks, but that's not my point. My point is that Orlando Bloom plays a blacksmith, again. He also has a sword, again.

Basically, when Orlando Bloom walks into an audition, he asks, "Can I play a blacksmith? No? Well do I at least get to play with a sword? ROCK ON, I'M IN!"

Orlando Bloom cannot act. He plays the same characters and the same roles. That is not acting. That is being yourself. Yes, I just called Orlando Bloom a fucking sword-carrying blacksmith. Got a problem with it, bitch? That's right... And what?!?

Orlando Bloom is the worst actor ever. He has zero range. If his range were a food that sucks it'd be really bad dog food. Put him in a Tarantino movie, at least let him get typecasted by somebody who's cool.

And one more thing, Orlando, you're not hot. Girls don't want you. I know, it stings, doesn't it?


  1. yes i completley agree rock on. lindsey lohan (soo hott!!)

  2. is someone a little jealous..?

  3. Totally agree. Orlando Bloom is the worst actor, but i disagree on Tarantino, he sucks too. Every movie is "hmm how can I make this more pointless and more gorey than my last movie."


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