Sunday, June 26, 2005

The Orlando Bloom Audition Process OR Orlando Bloom Fucking Sucks

Anybody see Kingdom of Heaven? Yes, it sucks, but that's not my point. My point is that Orlando Bloom plays a blacksmith, again. He also has a sword, again.

Basically, when Orlando Bloom walks into an audition, he asks, "Can I play a blacksmith? No? Well do I at least get to play with a sword? ROCK ON, I'M IN!"

Orlando Bloom cannot act. He plays the same characters and the same roles. That is not acting. That is being yourself. Yes, I just called Orlando Bloom a fucking sword-carrying blacksmith. Got a problem with it, bitch? That's right... And what?!?

Orlando Bloom is the worst actor ever. He has zero range. If his range were a food that sucks it'd be really bad dog food. Put him in a Tarantino movie, at least let him get typecasted by somebody who's cool.

And one more thing, Orlando, you're not hot. Girls don't want you. I know, it stings, doesn't it?

4 comments:

  1. yes i completley agree rock on. lindsey lohan (soo hott!!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. is someone a little jealous..?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Totally agree. Orlando Bloom is the worst actor, but i disagree on Tarantino, he sucks too. Every movie is "hmm how can I make this more pointless and more gorey than my last movie."

    ReplyDelete

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