Annnnnnd We're Back!
That's right, I'm back from the trip to the ATL and Cherokee, NC. Went through six states: Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, and West Virginia. I was in North Carolina and Virginia twice. Don't worry, I am giving myself a prize for that one!
Day 1 - June 21st - Driving from Randallstown, MD to the halfway point to the ATL AKA Durham, NC
Well, before we even left we (Lily and I) stopped at the McDonalds at Liberty & Rolling Rd. I was so hungry and eager to start the trip that I took a bite out of the plastic fork. Much to my demise, hilarity did not totally ensue. We finished clogging our arteries and hit the road like Jack. It was about 9 in the morning. We got to 495 about 30 minutes later. And we realized we still hit DC rush hour traffic. Fuckity fuck fuck fuckaroo. We eventually made our way to and through "The Mixing Bowl" and that was balls empty, however, Lily had to pee so we stopped at some Shell in Suitland. She peed. I topped off the tank, to take full advantage of the stop. We then went on the road again like Willie and made it to Ashland, Va and stopped to eat at a Perkins. We were about 3 hours from Durham. I called my mom to tell her we were making good time, and she warned me about the Virginia speed traps on I-85. It was good she did, because I had no idea that cops WAIT IN THE FUCKING DITCH IN THE MEDIAN AND DON'T EVEN FACE THE SAME WAY AS THE TRAFFIC THEY ARE TRAPPING. Virginia cops are not lazy. But I avoided them, because I know how to pay attention while I drive. Moving on.
Anyway, we got to Durham, NC and got a ghetto fabulous motel room complete with a non-functional pool. I was floored. I love non-funcional pools and I especially love it when the highway signs for Motels lie.
Day 2 - June 22nd - Driving from Durham, NC to The ATL. I discovered that South Carolina is the nations armpit, and I think Lily had to pee again. Also, somebody crashed into a Dale Earnhardt street sign (those big green ones0) on I-85, because it was cut completely in half.
Day 3 - June 23rd - We spent time in Atlanta, well technically Decatur, which is like how Towson is to Baltimore. Lily doesn't tell me she needed to pee!
Day 4 - June 24th - We checked out a local music hangout in Decatur called Mulligan's. Pretty cool place. See a motorcycle crash in the pouring rain.
Day 5 - June 25th - On to Cherokee, NC with my mom and younger bro... Nikki dun got no car! {Inside joke that I will not explain but I will still mention for years.} We got there and got something to eat, and then took a dip in Mister Jacuzzi, or maybe that's Ms. Jacuzzi.
Day 6 - June 26th - Our first full day in Cherokee, we checked out the Cherokee Indian Museum and the outdoor drama Unto These Hills, doing the typical tourist stuff. We also became better friends with Mr or Ms Jacuzzi again. I just don't know the gender!
Day 7 - June 27th - The mom and brother left in the morning for Texas, so was just Lily & I on this day... Yes she has been with here the entire time, we did not strand her in Decatur, GA or along some highway. Jeez. We shopped for gifts for everybody, including a slingshot for 7 Days Torn and a tall shot glass for Liz which Vinny broke not three days after we got back. Don't worry it was on only a couple bucks.
Day 8 - June 28th - We left Cherokee at 9AM, and got on I-81 and took it pretty much all the way to I-70. Note to self: Virginia is a long ass state north to south and 10MPH over the speed limit on I-81 (70MPH) is still too slow for the moron truckers. That's right 80MPH is too slow. Fuckin' hell. We thought we saw Mykal's car while we drove through West Virginia near Harper's Ferry. There was a guy with a big head in the passenger seat, according to Lily, but it wasn't his car afterall. So we got back at 8pm, went straight to Liz's and the first thing Lily did was pee.
End of transmission.
Day 1 - June 21st - Driving from Randallstown, MD to the halfway point to the ATL AKA Durham, NC
Well, before we even left we (Lily and I) stopped at the McDonalds at Liberty & Rolling Rd. I was so hungry and eager to start the trip that I took a bite out of the plastic fork. Much to my demise, hilarity did not totally ensue. We finished clogging our arteries and hit the road like Jack. It was about 9 in the morning. We got to 495 about 30 minutes later. And we realized we still hit DC rush hour traffic. Fuckity fuck fuck fuckaroo. We eventually made our way to and through "The Mixing Bowl" and that was balls empty, however, Lily had to pee so we stopped at some Shell in Suitland. She peed. I topped off the tank, to take full advantage of the stop. We then went on the road again like Willie and made it to Ashland, Va and stopped to eat at a Perkins. We were about 3 hours from Durham. I called my mom to tell her we were making good time, and she warned me about the Virginia speed traps on I-85. It was good she did, because I had no idea that cops WAIT IN THE FUCKING DITCH IN THE MEDIAN AND DON'T EVEN FACE THE SAME WAY AS THE TRAFFIC THEY ARE TRAPPING. Virginia cops are not lazy. But I avoided them, because I know how to pay attention while I drive. Moving on.
Anyway, we got to Durham, NC and got a ghetto fabulous motel room complete with a non-functional pool. I was floored. I love non-funcional pools and I especially love it when the highway signs for Motels lie.
Day 2 - June 22nd - Driving from Durham, NC to The ATL. I discovered that South Carolina is the nations armpit, and I think Lily had to pee again. Also, somebody crashed into a Dale Earnhardt street sign (those big green ones0) on I-85, because it was cut completely in half.
Day 3 - June 23rd - We spent time in Atlanta, well technically Decatur, which is like how Towson is to Baltimore. Lily doesn't tell me she needed to pee!
Day 4 - June 24th - We checked out a local music hangout in Decatur called Mulligan's. Pretty cool place. See a motorcycle crash in the pouring rain.
Day 5 - June 25th - On to Cherokee, NC with my mom and younger bro... Nikki dun got no car! {Inside joke that I will not explain but I will still mention for years.} We got there and got something to eat, and then took a dip in Mister Jacuzzi, or maybe that's Ms. Jacuzzi.
Day 6 - June 26th - Our first full day in Cherokee, we checked out the Cherokee Indian Museum and the outdoor drama Unto These Hills, doing the typical tourist stuff. We also became better friends with Mr or Ms Jacuzzi again. I just don't know the gender!
Day 7 - June 27th - The mom and brother left in the morning for Texas, so was just Lily & I on this day... Yes she has been with here the entire time, we did not strand her in Decatur, GA or along some highway. Jeez. We shopped for gifts for everybody, including a slingshot for 7 Days Torn and a tall shot glass for Liz which Vinny broke not three days after we got back. Don't worry it was on only a couple bucks.
Day 8 - June 28th - We left Cherokee at 9AM, and got on I-81 and took it pretty much all the way to I-70. Note to self: Virginia is a long ass state north to south and 10MPH over the speed limit on I-81 (70MPH) is still too slow for the moron truckers. That's right 80MPH is too slow. Fuckin' hell. We thought we saw Mykal's car while we drove through West Virginia near Harper's Ferry. There was a guy with a big head in the passenger seat, according to Lily, but it wasn't his car afterall. So we got back at 8pm, went straight to Liz's and the first thing Lily did was pee.
End of transmission.
SEE I TOLD YA THE PATROIT ACT IS WORKING!!! ALL THE LIBERALS WANNA DO IS MAKE GEORGE BUSH FAIL!! Assem Hammoud Is a Beirut native.He Wanted to Blow up NY SUBWAY SYSTEM TUNNEL.If I was George BUSH ID INVADE LEBANON.WE Should take other peoples countries just like the SOVIETS DID TO EUROPE AFTER WWII.Cause Europe tried to invade russia!! Back in 1943.
ReplyDeleteWhy the hell do you let SteveOx post to your blog? And steve what the hell does all that shit have to do with Bozzy's trip ? Fucking MORON
ReplyDeleteHe makes me laugh.
ReplyDelete