10 Reasons not to buy an iPhone right now.

Yeah. I'm going there.

Anyway, if you don't know, I work for Verizon Wireless, so this may be a bit biased. But I also own a Power Mac G5 and an iPod, so I freaking love Apple, and I consider Steve Jobs a deity of some sort. So why shouldn't you rush out to your nearest at&t store or Apple store and throw at least 500 bucks at the sales people (even though we like that)? Let's begin. I will start with 10 and work down, because Letterman is the shit.

10. It's not 3G. I don't want to hear the excuses of how at&t's HSDPA network isn't big enough yet. No brand spankin' new phone should be designed on old technology. It's a waste of resources (and your customer's money).

9. You need to have at&t service. This oxymoron online should keep people away.

8. No over-the-air music downloads. This really isn't that hard. Verizon did this with the LG Chocolate a year ago. You'd think this would be a high priority, to tie the cellular world with the iTunes world. I guess not.

7. It's new technology. Never buy the first edition of a new gadget.

6. You can't watch LIVE TV on the phone. Verizon has two phones that can do this. Ah, the joys of having a 3G Rev-A network...

5. The cheapest one is 500 bucks. And you only get a 4GB iPod. That would be great if I wanted to delete 3/4's of my music collection.

4. You can't buy insurance on the phone. That's right. No protection plans.

3. The battery is built-in, so you'll need to actually go to an Apple store to have it replaced or ship it back to Apple. As long as the battery is not your average cell phone battery, this shouldn't be a problem... but the chances of that happening are, well, let's just say there's a better chance of President Bush walking into my apartment, naked.

2. The screen is made of glass. Yes, real, breakable glass. Look back up at number 4 and you'll probably bash your head against the keyboard 45 million times.

and the number 1 reason not to rush out and buy the iPhone is...

1. There's probably a more productive way to spend your money -- i.e., hookers.

So til next time, keep doing whatever it is that you're doing.