The Hiring Process of Corporate America

1. Look at the skills. Try to pick the best person for the job.
2. In the event of a tie, look at race.
3. Run by the HR department to get the latest quota.
4. Ignore the quota and waste time and bitch about it being a hard decision.
5. Look at race again.
6. In the event that it's still tied, look at sex. (No, not surf the net for porn, that's the last step)

7. Since we all know (or at least try to pretend) that no two penii are alike, this makes for a great way to decide, as eenie meenie miney mo is childish and just stupid. Go for the biggest penis possible. Again, no two penii are alike, and hell, one of the applicants may be arroused, so yank down their pants and compare! (see image) You know the old saying...the bigger cock gets the worm...or something like that. If one of the applicants is in fact arroused, this will be an easy decision, pick the hardest one, and throw the flacids and women out.
8. If by some act of God that there is still a virtual deadheat, then go back to the skills and pick the best person for the job, after fudging the application a bit, or even re-writing it. Remember: Always fudge a white applicant with a big penis.
9. Now look at porn.

But wait! Some liberal-lovin-jew-fuckin organization has caught on to you! Quickly make up some excuse to cancel the hire, and go with the least qualified black male with erectile dysfunction (or better yet: a black female), ya know, to make affirmative action look bad to cease it's use. I believe your rich white buddies on your softball team call this "taking one for the team", as opposed to "taking one up the ass" by that liberal organization.

Hopefully the above won't happen to you and will be able to hire your favorite white guy with the biggest penis (but not bigger than yours, remember that!), because that is what makes American companies so great, BIG PRICKS!!!!