Cop Accidentally Tasers Himself While Arresting Suspect

Looks like the tables have turned...

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Playoffs, Baby!

The Redskins beat the Cowgirls 27-6. I don't wanna hear how the cowboys starters didn't play, they played for almost 3 full quarters.. and all Dallas could get on the ground was ONE RUSH YARD. That's right ONE.

Bill Belichick = Anne Ramsey?

Is it just me or does Patriots head coach Bill Belichick look like Mama Fratelli from The Goonies?

It's just uncanny.

And as much as it pains me to say this... Go Giants.

Don't hit your head on the sign warning you about hitting your head on the sign.

Impeach Cheney now! Wexler OpEd in the Philadelphia Inquirer

Finally a news organization has the balls to write about something worthwhile. Cheney committed crimes. There's no denying that.

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Merry Christmas!! Now watch Mario

And now for something completely different...

12 Reasons Why You Should Have Sex Tonight

"Believe it or not, huffing and puffing your way through a hot, sweat-inducing sex session may be far more beneficial to your overall health than the time you spend on the treadmill." --FOXNEWS

Did a flock of monkeys just fly over a rainbow?! Sometimes I love Foxnews.

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Brawndo -- The Thirst Mutilator!

Life really does imitate art.

Let's predict Iowa!

Oliver Willis inspired this post, and I have to agree with him on the democrats with John Edwards winning the caucus and Barack Obama coming up behind with Hilary trailing afterwards.

However!

I see Mitt Romney winning for the republicans with Ron Paul a close second, followed by Giuliani and Huckabee in a dead heat for third.

While Ron Paul will not win in Iowa, he will boast a high standing, which should keep him relevant for the states which don't go to the polls until March or later.

I would love to see Ron Paul win the nomination. If it comes to an Edwards vs Paul showdown, I wil be extremely torn. They both do stuff I love and they both do stuff I hate, so it's just a matter of determining which of those things are important enough to get my vote.

Kristen Bell

Hershey to Redesign Pacs to Look Less Like Cocaine

From the what-were-they-thinking department, Hershey made a candy that looks just like cocaine. Plus you can even carry it around with something that looks like a crack bag!

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All I want for Christmas...

That's right. How much do you love me?

Gold Pill makes your poop glitter for $425

That's right, my shit's all shiney. I'm better than you. When you can afford to poop out $425, then let's talk.

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull poster

I think I just had an orgasm.

Teen with No Skull Shows Us How He Moves His Brain

I'll show you mine if you show me yours? Wait, stop, no!! Please for the love of God put it away!

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5 Minute Video of Cops Tasering Pregant Woman

That's right, five full moments of tasering fun!!!!

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"Don't tase me, bro" available as ringback tone from Verizon

If you thought "Don't tase me, bro" was the funniest thing you've ever seen, and you're a Verizon Wireless customer, you're in luck! You can purchase "Don't Tase Me Bro!" as your ringback tone.

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Germany moves to ban Scientology

I think this is a good idea. It's not really a religion, it's a scam. I wish the US would ban it.

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I woke up today from sleep

Yeah, so today I woke up from sleep. Took a piss, and showered. I then got dressed and ate some toast.

I love it when the day starts out interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angry Thai Women Lead the World in Penis Slashings

If you can think of anything else to say, then say it.

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Housing/Dollar/Stocks are All Crashing, Who's to Blame?

This is why I love renting. That and not having to mow the lawn.

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Sorceress Jailed After Using Eggs and Underpants

A 69 year old woman has been jailed for 20 days for using eggs and underpants in an attempt to break a man from a lethal curse. I think the real crime is not that an old woman is in jail or that a man may or may not still be cursed but that he had to part with a pair of underwear and how many eggs did he have to get? If it was a carton, that's like $6 right there. Then there's the urine sample, but who cares about that, he had to pay her and buy the eggs. I hope she fucking fries.

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Scientists: Ancient Kangaroos didn't Hop

That's right, it's all about the news that matters tonight on Bozzy's World.

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Something's Wrong With Lily...

It all started not so innocently the other day. She was walking along and suddenly something came running towards her. She hopped around and freaked out and told Liz to hit it with her car so that nobody could determine what it was... but Liz was speeding at the time and road raging one of the Ravens and only hit it with one tire so we were able to get a description.

What did it look like? Well she described it as having little devilish beady eyes and four tiny paws with claws as sharp as and looked similar to, razor blades. The Gillette Razor kind. You know, the best a man can get? Or was it the Mach3. Wait, that's the same one. Okay, where was I? Ah yes, tiny paws and four beady eyes as sharp as a Mach3, the best a man can get. You know what I mean.

After she described the eyes and the Mach3 paws, we all were stumped, but then she yelled at us and told us that she wasn't finished talking and that we shouldn't interrupt her all the time. So we let her finish. And she said she also saw a big furry bushy... something... but we interrupted her again to tell her something funny that happened at work, and then asked her what we were doing that night. She got mad and slammed the door in my finger. Usually my face, but this time, and unfortunately for me, my finger. Liz is okay, btw.

And that's where I'm at now. Well, now I'm at work, but yeah, finger, Owie. Door, bad.

Police Chase Down a Doughnut Truck (no taser involved)

Why oh why would police want to catch a doughnut truck? Was the driver a murderer or something? I have no idea...

This is too ironic to be funny. Sorry.

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Corporations are now so powerful they threaten democracy

It's true, I read it on the Internets.

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Vibrators for children

Will somebody please STOP thinking of the children! Don't make me call the police.

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End Women's Suffrage

Monkeys Fly Over Rainbows: Verizon Says Android Is Key to Open Network

That's right, it looks like Google and Verizon have kissed and made up.

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Deaf Guy Tased by Police Fresh Out of the Bath Tub

And now, our weekly tasing moment of Zen... Deaf guy. Bath tub. Tased.

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Staggering Timeline of Bush Era Civil Rights Violations

For your viewing pleasure, here's a complete timeline of all the civil rights attrocities that BushCo has committed.

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