Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Wake up and smell the bullshit

The republicans and most importantly John McCain want to help Hillary Clinton attack Obama, because they would love to face to Hillary in November! What--and I really mean who-- is the one thing that unites all republicans! Why that's the Clintons!

Wake up you fucking idiots. Fuck you PA.

And to those whiny fucks in Michigan and Florida? You had your chance. You knew the rules. You broke those rules. Shut the fuck up. You guys caused your votes to not be counted. Fuck off.

25% of PA residents are racist fucks

About one in five Pennsylvania voters said the race of the candidates was among the top factors in deciding how to vote, according to exit polls, and white voters who cited race supported Clinton over Obama by a 3-to-1 margin.


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Sweet! I got subpoenaed!

So if I failed to tell you, a few weeks ago they caught the fools who robbed burgled my store. Two 16 year olds. They got caught because they are stupid and broke into a Koons dealership and drove a car thru the glass window and thus taking it. Well, that got them caught. And they had the phones in the car. Fucking idiots.

So I have to go to the arraignment for them. But did they make it easy for me...noooooooooooo! I have to go on May 6th and May 13th because they have to have separate arraignments. Stupid fair trial bullshit.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Hey, this is gonna sound awkward, but...

I've been asked by my good friend, Sen. John McCain, to help him find something. Now, now, don't jump to any conclusions. He's just lost the TV remote. I've gotta go find it.

Stay white here, be right black.

Hillary has just said "Don't vote for me"

You saw it here first. Hillary Clinton has just formally announced that she does not want anybody to vote for her. She understands that the nature of politics is for people to get out the vote, attend caucuses, but she has come to realization that this philosophy just isn't for her. Let's sum it up again. Hillary Clinton: I don't want you to vote for me.

Watch now:




What 8 Years of Bush and Cheney Have Done to the U.S Economy

This should be the only time that Bush and responsible spending should be used in the same sentence. He runs for President saying he's gonna decrease the size of our government, and thus, cut taxes. Okay, well he cut taxes. But he increased the spending. Spending money we don't have. Go take a basic budgeting class, Mr. President.

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400 children removed from polygamist compound

Stupid mormon cults.









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Kids' Book About Tummy Tucks, Nose Jobs

If you're a mother and thinking about plastic surgery, pick up this book, it'll help you tell your child what to think!

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Saturday, April 12, 2008

Imelda May

the 21st century\'s billie holliday

I think I've found a new obession and it's the Dublin-born Imelda May. I just can't get enough of her style. It's so fresh, yet at the same, so retro. You could say that she's the 21st Century's Billie Holliday. Check out her MySpace and listen to her tunes.

Dinosaur Rap

I just feeling about rapping about dinosaurs...





Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Make your own McCain logo

mpain

Go ahead and get creative. Post your creation in the comments.

15-Year-Old McDonald's Fry Sold on EBay

God damn pack-rats! You guys will kill us all.

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The Troops Support Obama

As if it comes to a big surprise the troops prefer Barack Obama as the next President of the United States of America.

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Documents prove FBI spying tracks emails, cell phones, IMs

Don't you love the republican party of small government?

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been routinely monitoring the e-mails, instant messages and cell phone calls of suspects across the United States -- and has done so, in many cases, without the approval of a court. The FBI has also been spying for the Pentagon on American soil.





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Saturday, April 5, 2008

The dreaded "Friend Zone"

Why in the hell do you choose to be with guys who you hate when all you wind up doing is spending time with your best friend, whom you consider "like a brother" and whom you "can tell him anything"? Why don't you just be with that friend? I really don't give a shit about stupid relationship with your borderline abusive boyfriend and why the hell would I want to be your friend if I am stuck in The Friend Zone and have no chance of getting laid?

Women are fucking stupid. When I guy meets a girl, he wants to be friends with her, then fuck her... but with women, as soon as you become a friend, you are a just a friend, and then she goes out and grabs any random guy to fuck.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

It's not capitalism, it's corporatism.

It's not capitalism when companies make bonehead moves and then the Fed comes in and bails them out. That's corporatism.

cartoon