Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Devil's Rejects

The other day I saw The Devil's Rejects, and I don't know why. I never saw House of 1000 Corpses and Rob Zombie as a director really doesn't entice me, but I thought I'd give things a chance.

It wasn't that bad, if you like snuff films, which aren't particularly my cup of tea, but it was an interesting take on the whole crazy-redneck-cannibalism genre. The film starts out with a raid on the crazy redneck house, then a manhunt. And of course during the manhunt those crazy rednecks do more killing. And it's brutal. Rob Zombie tries to be artsy with things and not show the killings themselves, but he fails a few times. How else can you have a girl get smashed by an 18-wheeler and not show something?

Then the movie shifts to the revenge factor. The sherrif, played by William Forsythe, is on a mission of revenge, as his brother was once killed by one of the crazy rednecks, and he starts kicking ass and taking names. Anyway, the film ends well with a nice Bonnie and Clyde-style ending.

Should you take the kids to see this? YES!!!! There's nudity, sex, and gratuitous violence and gore! Every seven year old's favorite movie!

The Devil\'s Rejects (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

Saturday, July 30, 2005

So yeah, WordPress.

One of the nicer things about this is that if you register to comment (which you have to, because I decided to be ghey like that), you have the ability to submit post-worthy material to me. I'll probably be an elite fuck and not approve anything you submit, but you never know, it could be really special. Speaking of special, try walking through the Arundel Mills Mall parking lot anytime after 11pm, you'll find a whole array of things. You've got glass bottles, napkins, paper cups, paper plates, SOCKS, and poopy baby diapers. Hey, I think that's the first time I've used the phrase 'poopy baby diapers' in the three years I have been blogging. Actually, I think that's the first time I've used the word 'poopy'... ... I don't know how I feel about that.

Well, register and submit me stuff that I probably won't approve. Catch ya on the flipside.

Hey switch, turn it over and hit it

Well, I finally did it. I moved away from Movable Type. It hurts. Not only was it the only CMS I was used to, but it was the CMS that started it all for me, and I feel all dirty, like I just betrayed a loved one. However, WordPress is so much sleeker. It's all PHP, none of that Perl bullshit, and it even has it's own blogrolling system, so I had to switch.

Yeah, I lost the originality of my old design, but I think it was time for that to change as well. I haven't changed that layout (with the exception of the logo) in 2 years. Something needed to change. I'll eventually make a new logo to replace the text logo I have right now, and the colors may change, but for now, they won't.

Peace and keep reading if you were reading in the first place and maybe start reading if you weren't reading in the first place

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

100 Degrees of Hell

It's fucking hot. No wait, 'hot' can not possibly describe the elements today. HOLYFUCKSHIT is more like it. I walked outside in a parking lot, and it felt like I just submerged myself in 6 feet of water. I tried to sweat, and my skin said, "that's not necessary."

So it's hot and I'll give a prize to the first person who sends me something cold. Anything. As long as it's cold.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Call Harvey Birdman! 1-877-MANBIRD!

That's right! Do you need legal advice? Do you want to listen to him sing? Did you get that thing he sent you? Then call Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law! 1-877-MAN-BIRD! That's 1-877-626-2473.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Tip #128: Do not go to Denny's with gas

This is going to be short. In fact, just listen. Do not go to Denny's with gas. People will die.

That's all. It's good advice. Take it.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Podcasts? Maybe I'll try that one day...

Everybody is talking about this "Podcast" thing, and I have yet to dive head first into it. In fact, I haven't even dived in feet first, or even simply waded in the above-ground podcast pool. But maybe I should. It's definitly on my mind. Sounds like fun and tastes like happy.

Well there really isn't anything else to talk about, so I won't bore you anymore.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

EMO quote of the day

"Your so emo, all you need now is a LiveJournal acccount and an Evanescence CD." -My friend Jen, not be confused with Jenna or Gwen.

Friday, July 15, 2005

7 days torn in fells point again

all of you motherfuckers from md better come down to fletcher's (in fells point, on the corner of st and aliceanna) monday to see this kickass local band by the name of 7 DAYS TORN. cover is only $5 for all ages.

listen to some of their tunes:

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Pansy Girl

I've been on the ride about 5 times, but she can't withstand "MGM's Tower of Terror". Silly girl.

And the 4 year old boy who couldn't withstand "Mission: Space" is also a pansy, as well as the 77 year old woman who rode "Pirates of the Carribean".

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Worst Movie of 2004

So I finally got around to seeing Napoleon Dynamite.

It's the stupidest fucking movie ever made. It's bland. It's plain. It's boring. And most importantly, it's not funny. Which normally wouldn't be a bad thing, after all you could say that it's bland, plain, and boring because it's depicting the redundancies of real life, but you can't.

Why can't you? Because this is labeled a comedy, yet it is not funny in the slightness. Case in point: Napoleon's brother meets a black girl off the Internet and starts acting all pimp and gangsta. Like this hasn't been done before. Boring. Not funny. Case #2: Token Mexican Pedro. Yeah, let's just throw in a token mexican just to make the movie funny because as we all know, wetbacks are COMEDY GOLD! You're fucking stupid for thinking he was funny.

This is one of the worst films of 2004, and all of you who raved on and on about this movie and convinced me to see it need to have your definition of comedy examined.

That's all. Napolean Dynamite sucked.

This ain't funny

Who the fuck stole all my condoms?!?

I'm mixing 151 with Malibu rum and pineapple juice

I'm back! Again!

Yes! I have returned! For now anyway, I may slip into another deep chasm of great sex that happens when you're in the back corner of the blogosphere for too long, but for now, I am back.

Oh yeah and there's a new Maddox! He goes off on blogs.
Blogebrity: Wow, guess what this one stands for? Too easy. Hey, anyone can do it: take a blogger who's a chef, and you get: BLEF. A blogger who's a dentist? BENTIST. A female blogger with an itch? You guessed it: a BITCH.

What else... the Orioles are falling back to Earth. The Nats are on Cloud 9. Bobby Abreu won the home run derby. And the Yankees still suck.

I'm putting so many miles on my car. It's only like 10 months old and it has 37k miles on it. Already had the major servicing. It's crazy. Guess it shows how much I love the Scion tC.

That's all for now. This was a skimpy post, but I'll try to post more in the future. And if I don't, suck on my left nut.

Monday, July 11, 2005

National 7/11 Day

Today is National 7/11 day! Everybody go out and buy a slurpee to celebrate! Or perhaps a coffee.

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Pooping at Denny's

So last night I was at Denny's and somebody totally shat in one of the urinals while we were there. I had to pee when I got there, and again after we ate, but sometime in-between somebody pooped in the urinal. I felt sorry for whoever had to clean that mess up.

That's it. I only had to talk about poop at Denny's.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

MySpace Tip #5209142

Alright, this one is pretty simple: If the only pictures you have to share on MySpace have somebody else in them, please point out which one of them is you. It would be appreciated.