Friday, August 23, 2002

Apparently, I have been breaking the law

I just got a letter from Allfirst stating that I've been exceding the number of transactions in the last statement period. Allfirst states that this law is to "regulate how these accounts are used and to prevent their use as a transaction (checking) accounts." Who the hell are they to tell me how I can use my savings account?! This is how I use my accounts: I put my paychecks in savings and transfer, whenever needed, to my checking account. This way I do not spend too much, but hey, apparently that's against the law. Fuck the federal government. They're gay and this law is bogus.

But it doesn't stop there. This law only allows me 6 transactions via Internet and Telephone (yeah I know, who uses the phone?), BUT I can "make an UNLIMITED number of withdrawls or transfers from your savings account(s) in-person at the bank or at the ATM. Whoa, stop, hold the fucking phone. How the fuck does doing it in-person make it all better? What is so different about internet transactions? Somebody throw me be a frickin bone here.

The penalty for continuing to do this is that they continue to send me harrasing letters, because they get fined by the FDC, and the last resort is to "convert your account to a non-interest bearing account". Haha, when did the words "Savings" and "Checking" become hate words? What's with all the eupemisms here? "Non-interest bearing account"? That could be easier said by simply saying "checking"! But hey, this is way too much to ask for our federal fucking government.

Also, It wouldn't be too much to ask if Allfirst would send me a quality pamphlet that I can actually read. It's like they still are using dot-matrix printers!

So, I guess I'll have to stop the number of transactions I make online...yeah I will do that, I will make an absurd amount of transactions in-person and see if I still get fined. I guess I'm a real bad ass, huh?

Now, click more for a song I wrote (all in fun of course):

sung to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon

Fuck the federal government
Fuck them up the ass
And lets not forget the president
In a land called gay gay gay

Little Georgie Bush
Loved that little boy
And bought him strings for giving head
And other fanny stuff. Oh!

Fuck the federal government
Fuck them up the ass
And lets not forget the president
In a land called gay gay gay

Fuck the federal government
Fuck them up the ass
And lets not forget the president
In a land called gay gay gay

Together they would fuck
On a boat with lots of boys
Georgie kept a lookout perched
For big bad you and me

Idiot Bushes and Cheneys
Would blow whene'er they came,
Dumbass banks would raise their brow
When'ver Bozzy makes too much

Fuck the federal government
Fuck them up the ass
And lets not forget the president
In a land called gay gay gay

A sexually-abused-boy lives forever
But not so little George
Painted penises and scrotum rings
Make way for other boys.

One gay night it happened,
Georgie Bush came no more
And there went the little boy,
He ceased to live and play.

His head was bent in two,
Cum fell like rain,
Boy no longer went to play
Along Pennyslvania 1600.

Without his life-long friend,
Bush could not be brave,
So puff that sexually-abused-boy
Sadly slipped into his grave. Oh!

(Sing Chorus Softly)

Fuck the federal government
Fuck them up the ass
And lets not forget the president
In a land called gay gay gay

(Sing Chorus Loudly)

Fuck the federal government
Fuck them up the ass
And lets not forget the president
In a land called gay gay gay

(Okay somehow the song that started as a bash against that idiot bank law, turned into a song about George W Bush molesting little boys...lol)

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