Master of Disguise

Okay, to fully enjoy this movie one must either be braindead or 7 years old. This movie stinks. You see, this is a moment" movie. It's just made up a handful (some really small hand at that) of funny scenes. Actually, the only pure hilarious scene is the "turtle club" scene, but unfortunattely, most of which was shown in the trailers. Ugh.

Why do they do this? This pisses me off. If it were my movie, I wouldn't show any thing in the trailer that was in the final cut of the movie. In fact, I would specifically shoot scenes to be used just for the sole purpose of making a trailer. And if they wound up great, I would still leave them in the trailer. I consider it a rip-off otherwise. I paid about 20 bucks to see this movie (tix and snacks) and I want to see something I haven't seen before. Then you say, "But if they don't show clips from the movie in the trailer, then how will they get people to see the movie?" Oh puh-leeze. Gimme a frickin' break. How did hollywood get the stupid idea to do this? Boggles the mind. A trailer shouldn't be a collection of good scenes, no, it should be an "intro" that introduces (hence the name) all or at least the majority of the major characters. It should never include anything that is in the movie. That really insults the audience. Why would any filmmaker want to show the good scenes over and over again in the trailer? Is there some rule about laughing in movie theaters? Why must we be forced to laugh in our living rooms? Dammit, I want to see it for the first time on a bigger screen! Is this the reason why I disliked the movie? No. All movie trailers do this...with the exception of a rare few. No, I dislike this movie because it was just unfunny, and the only funny scene that was in it was shown to death in the trailers. So yeah, I guess this is why I dislike this movie.

The Plot. Not much, but it's about Pistachio Disguisi, played by Dana Carvey. That should be a big friggin stop sign right there. Honestly, who names their son "Pistachio"? That's just nutty. So Pistachio's parents get kidnapped, and before anybody else besides Pistachio finds out, his grandfather shows up and knows about what happened. Which is kinda confusing at first, because earlier in the movie, I swear that in the first scene, the guy playing his father is said to be his grandfather, then later he's Pistachio's father. Oi vei.

The disguises were kinda funny, but I kept wanting to see more elaborate ones. You know, where it's not just Dana Carvey in a funny outfit, making funny voices and all? Maybe take a completely different person and have the audience think that is Pistachio? No? I guess that's too much to ask. No, it's not. They did this with Pistachio's father and grandfather, but never did it with Pistachio, not even when he got good at disguises.

Overall, I was dissappointed with this movie. It seemed like Carvey was trying to hard to be funny instead of just being natural, like his characters on SNL and in movies such as "Trapped in Paradise". The writing was tired and uninspired. Not to mention repetitive. C'mon, if the bad guy routinely farts at the same time, it gets predictable and UNFUNNY! This isn't rocket science people. But kids will like this, but adults should be bored...unless their braindead. Ah, braindead adults...kinda like Steve Dannuzio....lol

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