Driving Tip

Since merging is an unknown concept here in Maryland, I'll have to explain it. Merging is the act of assimilating your vehicle with many vehicles on an asphault (or concrete) strip of land, most notably known as a road. Assimilating too big a word? It means GET UP TO FUCKING SPEED AND MOVE YOUR ASS! Drivers around here piss me off. How could so many of them not know how to merge?!? It's so simple!!

1. Get on the on-ramp.
2. Don't stop.
3. Get off the on-ramp.
4. Don't stop.
5. HIT THE GAS!

Voila, you are now on the highway! Hopefully you didn't slow to a crawl or stop in the process and cause someone to rear-end you, or worse, miss your chance at merging and have to take the exit ramp and do it all again. Losers.

Those, of you who will be driving soon, please remember one thing, if it is all you remember, for the love of God, DO NOT FUCKING STOP AT THE END OF AN ON-RAMP! How are you supposed to match the speed of traffic if you're not moving?!?

Where's the pizza?