The Next President

Here are the democratic options:

Hillary Clinton-- Yeah, because she wants to bang an intern too. Mostly for the attention though.
John Edwards-- Somebody tell him you have to be more than a prettyboi.
John Kerry--If at first you can't succeed... STAY IN THE SENATE, BITCH.
Al Gore--Same thing, except home.
Bill Richardson-- He's wants his 15 minute of fame like his wife Patricia had. (That was a Home Improvement reference, fuckers; embrace it)
Wes Clark-- I'M A GENERAL!!!!!
Evan Bayh-- No way, I'm tired of Joe Millionaire.

Here are the republican options:

Mitt Romney-- Strike that, reverse it; He already fucked his chances.
Bill Frisk-- If he becomes president, think of the interns he'll want to frisk.
John McCain-- Kinda old, but very possible, very cruel and unusual punishement possible.
Sam Brownback-- Who? He'll have to hire a marketing guru for his name.
Chuck Hagel-- It rhymes with 'bagel', that disqualifies him.
Newt Gingrich-- No.
Jeb! Bush-- *Bozzy just had a heart attack at this thought*
Condoleeza Rice-- If she runs, I'll commit hara-kiri, but not before I do Halle Berry on Harry Caray's grave.