Bill Gates has been pretend knighted

It's an honorary knighthood, but it's just a technicality, he still has access to the same functions as the real knights. Well, real as in real of a Brit's teeth. Not very real. No, he just sits around waiting for Her Royal Highness to come running up with the Blue Screen of Death or another Windows problem. Queen Elizabeth says, "You fixed my 'puter! I knight you!" Yes I am actually picturing her saying that. Not because she can, because I'm weird.

What do the real knights get to do? Well aside from being called "sir" until they are dead and then still called for sir til people forget them, they most likely get access to the Castles! How many castles are there? Nobody really knows for sure, but our guess is a lot! Yeah, so them real knights get to come to the castle whenever they want.

No, that's actually not the case. What if the queen just showered or bowered or shathed? I'm sure they'd have to call first. Each castle has it's own switchboard, you know.

So anyway, knights, you still have to call first. Let this be a warning to you, Sir Elton.


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