Did I leave the gas on?


And I used to keep my makeup in a squirrel hole, up the tree. And uh, and the squirrel would keep makeup on one side, and he’d keep nuts on the other side. And sometimes I’d get up that tree and that squirrel would be covered in makeup! “La la, la la, oh, oh. What? Fuck off!” he seemed to say. And they always eat n – squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, arararar, and occasionally, they stop and go, oh, uh, ah, as if they’re going, “Did I leave the gas on? No! I’m – no – I’m a fucking squirrel!” And occasionally they go, “Fucking nuts! Fed up with them always. I long for a grapefruit.” Yeah. So that’s very much like the army. And, umm – the running jumping climbing trees is, not the squirrel bit, the – the trees bit. --Eddie Izzard

(Thanks to Zoe for the image)


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